Tuesday, March 22, 2016

In the wake


I woke up expecting it to be just another Tuesday. Get the kids to the bus stop, workout, clean the house, get a few other things done, take the kids to swimming, blah blah blah. But today was WONDERFUL. Dare I say, MAGICAL.

I had to write down what I experienced today. All of these beautiful little gifts kept being dropped in my lap and I was filled with such gratitude. I was patient with my kids, managed to shower and do my hair and makeup, and I didn't even let the crappy weather bother me.

First of all, the kids made it to the school bus on time. Victory! (Zoë has been wearing diapers to preschool...STILL...but that is another story. Whatevs. At least she made it). I met a few new friends (mom's from Zoë's preschool who are just RAD) at the gym for a workout class, which I really enjoyed. Then home for a healthy breakfast and shower.

I checked my Facebook and saw that my friends, Spencer and Shenelle Williams, had posted a demo from Luz Y Amor,( the musical we've been working on) and it was being received warmly. This made me feel so good. I've known the song for months now and it brightened my soul to finally share it with others and take a moment to honor my Lucy as I got ready for the day. Reading all the positive and supportive comments was pure icing on the cake.

After stepping out of the shower, I noticed I had a missed call from my dear friend, Cathy. Cathy lives in L.A. and I was her nanny years and years ago when her twins were in 5th grade (they are now graduating from college!) She called to invite me to her Hebrew school graduation ceremony in May because she is reading a paper at her ceremony and the paper is about ME. Whaaaa?? I was not expecting this. She went on to tell me that the day she was at a trade show in NYC and received my call about Lucy's accident was a day that has really stuck with her. In her words, "Your faith has really effected me. I've always struggled believing in a higher power and you've shown me that there is more to hope for." I could hardly believe it. Then she told me the dates of the weekend she wants to fly me out...the same weekend in May when Lucy had her accident and died. We decided this for sure needs to happen. It's meant to be.

I hung up the phone feeling so grateful. So filled with light and love. Life is ALL ABOUT the connections we have with others.

Next, I picked Zoë up from a playdate (she was at the home of one of the rad preschool moms I worked out with earlier) and we headed to the dentist so I could get a small cavity filled. As I entered the waiting area, a beautiful African woman (who had just finished her appointment) was heading to the front desk to pay her bill. We were the only two people in the dental office and I smiled at her and wondered about her story. I overheard the receptionist telling her her total would be $520. (Her TOTAL bill is $8,000!!! But her payment that day was around $520). I could tell she was struggling to communicate with the receptionist but she reluctantly handed her credit card over.

Zoë was happily playing with toys on the floor and I just kept pacing back and forth trying to decide if I was really going to do it or not. What the heck..."Excuse me. You might think I'm crazy, but can I pay for some of your dental bill?"

Guys...Seven hugs. In the next 5 minutes she hugged me 7 times. I kept thinking about the bombings in Belgium. This woman was from Rwanda. She'd been in a car accident (her husband was driving. Please tell me he wasn't drinking) and her teeth were mangled. She had broken English and as far as I know she has never been to Belgium or has any association with it. But for me, helping her and learning some of her story had everything to do with Belgium. I texted Vic through my tears and told him about my new friend, Agathe.

After the dentist we headed home and I had a moment to FaceTime with my dad. I told him about what an uplifting and unexpected day it had been thus far and his response, as always, was "Days of Plenty". (I reference this phrase and song a lot. You may remember it is the song from the musical "Little Woman" that Marmee sings after Beth dies). Indeed, today was a day of plenty.

Peter arrived home, headed across the street to play, and I got to fit a little nap in. The kids and I then headed to swimming lessons, which happens to be in the same building where the Democratic caucus is held. Once the kids were with their teachers in the pool, I got to duck out and vote. I always get emotional when I vote. I'm so proud and grateful to live in this country. Being surrounded by so many upstanding citizens is so empowering and just plain inspiring.

I headed back to the pool and noticed a text from my new friend, "Hello, this is my nomber my name is Agathe am happy for what you doing for me, tanks." Guys. This is as good as it gets. 

Then it was home for dinner and a little homework while daddy is at his Tuesday martial arts class. Peter started reading a paper on the counter, which I thought was a menu list Vic wrote up last week, but it was a list of affirmations to me from Vic. I was so surprised. They'd been sitting on the kitchen counter all day and I didn't notice them. He must have written it before he left for work...

Molly,

You are a Child of God
You are Beautiful
You are Funny
You are Captivating
You are More than Enough
Your Body is in Perfect Balance
You are Healthy and Strong
You are Sexy
You are Wonderful
Everything you touch Prospers
you are Always Taken Care of
You Fully Accept Yourself
Everything Works Together for your Good
You are of Infinite Worth
When People are in your Presence They feel their Worth
Heavenly Father has a Purpose for you
You are loved!

And with that, I tucked my little ones in bed and began writing this blog.

Who am I to have this much love and support in my life?

There is love in this world. There is goodness. There is kindness. There are miracles. There is much to be grateful for. I am grateful. I think I'm doing what the song from Luz y Amor says--I'm flying. At least for today, I'm flying. In the wake of tragedy and hardships, somehow we can fly again.

*Editor's note: I just re-read this post and I cringed a little. I sound like I'm tooting my own horn a lot and that bothers me. I need to learn to just keep some things to myself as gifts and not tell anyone. I heard through the grapevine that people stopped reading my blog because it became self-serving and a few other negative things. That hurt. A lot. I never want to come across that way. It still stings when I think about it. So...just pretend you and I just sat down together for frozen yogurt or a drink and I told you about my day. Sigh. 

18 comments:

  1. thanks, Molly for sharing your Day of Plenty! You really are flying...and loved!

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  2. I love you and your blog! Toot away! I love hearing how lives are intertwined with love! I would quite enjoy an afternoon of fro-yo with you, my dear! You're golden! Keep flying.

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  3. Well I certainly disagree that your blog is "self-serving". I love reading & shall never stop! Hugs to you dear friend! Loved reading about your beautiful day!!

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  4. Beautiful! What an excellent day for a wonderful person like you. The people who cross paths with you are truly blessed. xx

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  5. I also appreciate you sharing your story. I work in a hospital. Yesterday, I had some very sad situations in ICU and trauma, along with the bombing. Reading your day of plenty was needed!

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  6. I love it! I love it I love reading your blog you are such an inspiration to me thank you for sharing. I friend in East Texas

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  7. Thanks for sharing. I didn't think you were tooting your horn and never have. You are amaZing! I love that there is so much goodness in this world. I hope it inspires all of us to look around see how we can serve others in our little parts of the world. Love you sister!

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  8. Molly, you do not know me, but I have been reading your blog for several years. You are a BLESSING. It does not sound to me like you are tooting your own horn. Ever. When things happen to us like you spoke of in this blog, to me, you are encouraging others and thanking God for the blessings. Some people aren't happy unless they have something to complain about. Please do not stop being who you are -- sometimes we are blessed and happiness reigns. Other times, we post negative things to help free our minds of the sadness. Trust me when I say that I believe from the comments that you are a blessing to so many people. I like the fact that you are REAL. It is YOUR blog, and you should write what is in your heart. If some negative person or people do not like what you are saying, they can stop reading. But please don't change how you post. You are a blessing!

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  9. I've never felt that you were tooting your own horn. On the contrary, I love the perspective that you fill my day with when I get to read your posts. Happy, sad, whatever emotion you are sharing, your posts are honest and I adore them all. Please don't change the way you write. I've shared your blog with so many over the years, because I know how it has touched my life to read the words you have to share.

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  10. I will never stop reading your blog. Your positive outlook on life and your darling family is a testament to us humans' ability to rebound from life's most difficult days. I'm always filled with hope when I read your blog...whether you are having a good day or a bad day (you are entitled to both), your insight and wisdom help me, a woman at age 63, to learn from you young mothers who have gone through such a tremendous loss. I love to hear your wonderful days and even the hard days. Your blog is yours to write exactly what you want. I am only speaking for myself but I really enjoy your words and your posts. Thanks for sharing what you share. You inspire me to want to be a better person.

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  11. I have been reading your blog for YEARS! We are a lot a like in ways and, like so many others, I look up to your example of faith, honesty and just being real. You tell things how they are pretty or not. I loved THIS post! It shows what joy can come from letting your light shine and connecting with and loving each other on this earth.

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  12. I love your blog and thank you for sharing. You aren't tooting your own horn, you were writing the tender mercies down to remember on a not so great day! The Lord loves us....and you! I think you are wonderful!

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  13. Please keep writing your blog, I love it and I love how you helped that lovely sounding lady and your view on voting. Wonderful.

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  14. This post reminded me of the book Divine Signatures. This was a day full of signatures to help you through a rough day in the future. Thank you for sharing this!!

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  15. Oh Molly, if folks don't understand that much of what you write here is a therapeutic journal as you suffer through and survive the traumatic and sudden death of your daughter...WTF? Of course it is self-serving. I for one love to see the joy come back into your life. And maybe, just maybe, you tooting your own horn about paying it forward will have a ripple effect. And maybe, just maybe a community is born of that ripple effect. And maybe, just maybe, that ripple effect creates a community, town state, country, nation, world where we all treat each other a little kinder. And love. And accept for exactly who each of us were born to be. So go ahead Molly. Keep being self-serving. And I will keep reading. There are worse things in this life. And you and I have both lived them!

    Blessings for a glorious Easter to all, no matter what your beliefs, may this season of rebirth fill your hearts and families with joy and purpose.

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  16. I think you are fantastic. I was listening to Sister Burton's talk on Saturday, and when she challenged all of us to look for the one in our community, circle, neighborhood, that we could help, I thought of you and the stories you've shared about the people who you help on a very individual level. And look! Another example that you shared right here on this post. Thanks for sharing your blog. Through it, you inspire me to be a better person. I hope I get to meet you one day. Here's to another fantastic Tuesday!!

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  17. This was a wonderful post. Please don't second guess it.:)

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  18. Molly ~ you just keep tooting your horn!! What a wonderful thing you did for that woman. God Bless you.

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