Sunday, January 24, 2016

It never goes away


Husband crying. Husband hurting. 

He drives. Not knowing where. 

The car takes him here. To his buried heart. 

She feels closer. Why does she feel closer?

Her tombstone. It looks like a coffin. 

Is she in the pure white snow? 

Can I still touch her body?

Can I hold her?

He aches to hold her. 

To feel whole. 

To have direction and light and peace. 

He snaps this photo instead and sends it to you. 

He tells you her body feels closer because it looks like her white coffin. 

It breaks your heart. 

Maybe the two halves of your jointly broken hearts can fit together as one. 

Maybe she is closer. 

Knitting you back together. 

Never leaving you alone in your grief. 

Never leaving you alone. 



9 comments:

  1. I am so sorry Molly. My heart aches for you and Vic. I'm not sure I've told you, I definitely didn't know before having children how difficult an experience you had been through. Now that I have children, the difficulty is strangely more unimaginable. It is my biggest fear. Love you both. Lucy is a darling little sweetheart. May God bless you both and give you courage, strength and comfort each day. My prayers are still with you.

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  2. I don't know if you remember me or not but... I was the crazy lady who said Hi to you in the south Jordan Costco several months back! I was taken so off guard by running into you because I truly feel like I know you but then I know I don't... but when I saw you "hi" just blurted out and then I just couldn't get on top of my words. I'm sorry about that awkward encounter. I just wanted you to know that I am always thinking of you and your family and especially your sweet Lucy. This post is beautiful, and sad, and heartbreaking... My heart aches for you and I pray for you to feel some kind of peace and comfort. Thank you for sharing your life with all of us! ❤️

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  3. The daughter of a college friend died a month before my Evan. She'd had health problems/birth defects and was in a wheelchair... at maybe 3 years of age. I found myself thinking that it was for the best. I didn't understand. Anything. And she announced it on Facebook. Who does that? I didn't know if it was a joke or what.

    Then less than a month later I knew the hurt. Deeper than I thought possible. I called a friend who was supposed to watch my kids that morning and left a message that she doesn't need to watch my boys. Evan died. She got the message and didn't believe it. Who jokes around like that? No one. So she came to the hospital.

    My husband posted it on Facebook. How else do you get the word out? It used to be a phone tree. Not anymore. And I saw in my newsfeed how life went on. People were studying for tests, seeing movies and going on vacations. How could they do that? My world had stopped.

    And I understood for the first time what my college friend had gone through. There is no relief at not having to care for a special needs child just like there is no relief at not having to care for only four instead of five small children. Only longing for what could have been.

    Sending hugs to you and Vic.

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  4. Think about you a lot my friend in Park city Utah! You are a beautiful person, and my heart breaks for you and your family....I can only imaagine.

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  5. So honest and beautiful. I admire you two

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  6. Heartbreaking and beautifully raw. Hugs.

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  7. Poignant and lovely.

    Wishing you both as much peace as your hearts can hold.

    xo

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  8. A lovely photo and post. Thoughts and prayers for you and Vic. The missing never ends but neither does the love.

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