I'm busy. So busy. Yet, what am I doing? I don't really know. My life involves a lot of cleaning and running around, feeding little mouths and trying to be a good wife (have we talked about how hard marriage can be? HAVE WE??)
This blog is nowhere close to the top of my "to-do" list or even on my radar. But you crazy, awesome, wonderful readers and friends write to me and tell me to keep going. So here I am. I'm interested to see what is going to come out of my heart.
For starters, we just survived the 7 year mark of Lucy's death. SEVEN. YEARS. I have lived for 7 years without my dear daughter. Zoë and Peter have lived their entire lives not knowing their magnificent sister. Yes, it still hurts. Yes, we still cry tears and are in disbelief at times that she is not here, our firstborn and radiant blonde cherub. But you know what? We aren't the only ones to have lost a child. We aren't the only ones to lose a loved one, to grieve, to sorrow in our hearts. Whether its a death, infertility, divorce, depression, hunger, abuse, or hopelessness, the entire human family will not come out of this life unscathed. Our situation is not unique. This is something I've learned since Lucy died. There is no fairytale ending or happily ever after, there is only learning, growing, forgiving, and loving. And it's WORK. But I am not afraid of hard work.
Speaking of work, I'm in the middle of several exciting projects. If you follow me on Instagram (@smallyspice) you know that I recently certified to teach "Let's Play Music". (this program is seriously too legit to quit). I will be teaching ages 4-6 in the Fall in Park City. Please send students my way! I'll be doing free sample classes at the end of June if you'd like come see what it's all about.
I have some other projects up my sleeve that are keeping me either busy or stressed thinking about how they should be keeping me busy.
Most of my energy the past few weeks has been spent "in my head", a mental battle of self improvement and awareness.
Today, I was introduced to the blog A Blog About Love and have been devouring it. The passion with which the author blogs reminded me how healing and therapeutic sharing on here is for me. So though I didn't share anything too specific or profound, it's helping me sort through my thoughts and feelings.
Much more to share later. So much more. Until then, take care of your heart and your loved ones and don't be afraid to work. You can't quit either.