Monday, November 25, 2013
What My Husband Can Do
My bosom buddy texted me this photo the other day (or maybe it was on her Instagram). Could you die? It is her new dining room table. Her husband MADE IT.... from their old kitchen floor....with no design other than something he thought up in his pretty little head.
Not long after I got the photo, my father-in-law stopped by our house (my parent's house) to pick up Peter. While he was here, he noticed that Zoë's crib was wobbly and he fixed it. He fixed all of our clocks (daylight savings), asked if we had any wood glue (in order to mend some ailing chairs), and took a look at the broken wheel in our dishwasher.
Later that week, Vic's brother texted us a photo of the new kitchen tile he's installing in his house in San Diego. And well...somehow, Vic and I started discussing all of these things that all of these men were doing. Eden's husband made her a table! Grandpa just swoops in and fixes things in our house. And Paul is remodeling his house top to bottom. I made some joke about how Vic isn't a handyman. (I probably said it in this weird baby voice we talk to each other in sometimes. Complete with incorrect grammar and such.)
Vic wasn't mad that I was taking a jab at him, but he still hung his head and said, "I know. I not can do all that stuff... I sorry."
But then I was the one that felt bad. That's when I blurted out the first thing I could think of that might help make the situation better-- "You might not be able to fix things and make things with your hands, but you are great at fixing lives and helping people build their lives. Paul and BJ can't review contracts and help people get out of speeding tickets or help someone adopt a child..."
I meant everything that I said, but I wasn't sure if he was going to buy it or think it was stupid.
Surprisingly, he looked up and said, "Keep going...it's working."
But you see, about 30 minutes after we had this little conversation, Vic was sitting in our living room, on a Saturday, helping people rebuild their lives. (He doesn't know that I snapped this picture.)
These are people we love who are dealing with different life situations...job stuff, immigration stuff, relationship stuff...and they need Vic. They need a wonderful attorney on their side who understands the law and cares for them personally.
So although I don't get a cool handmade table out of my marriage, or someone who enjoys laying tile and remodeling projects, I get something pretty great.
This short conversation that Vic and I had really made me reflect, once again, on the importance of nurturing the strengths in others. I often wish Vic were different in some areas. (Ahem...his posture. And why does he have to be such a Republican?)
At times I have been caught in the unhealthy trap of comparing my husband to other women's husbands. How horrible is that? Don't I do that enough with myself as it is? (It's not a constant, weighing thing with me...but it happens from time to time.) I'm glad we had this little experience to remind me that we all have different roles to fill and different strengths. (Cuz we all know I'm not crafty or reverent or a million other things. But I'm always good for a laugh and can find a reason to make a dance party out of any situation. Hopefully those count as strengths.)
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