And...I auditioned for a show. I had a pretty killer audition. I rocked the dancing. Had a bit of a cold so my singing wasn't my best. But I did well. Really well. And I didn't make it. So that's a bummer.
Zoë has a cold and is a fussy little thing. My house is a mess.
I just don't feel like I have a grip on things right now. My house, my kids, my marriage--and there is that nagging feeling again like I should be doing "more". Must get off Instagram and Facebook every second and live my own life. Must.
When late afternoon hit today I started having a mini anxiety attack. I just started feeling so overwhelmed by everyday life. Work out. Clean the house. Shower. Get dressed. Feed kids. Clean up. Clean some more. Get out of the house or go crazy. Make lunch. Clean. Make dinner. Do laundry. Mental breakdown!
I called my friend Stacey to see if she could take the kids for a few hours so I could unpack bags and take a breath or two. THANK GOODNESS FOR FRIENDS LIKE HER. So here I am...sorting through my thoughts and feelings. Crying off and on. Realizing it is May. Five years without her. May.
I guess I don't know what else to say. Time to go unpack.
“Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic."-Frank Herbert