...and that's why we don't bite our sister

Monday, March 4, 2013

Gather round everybody, got a scene to set
It's a real humdinger of a tale--you bet
Bout a handsome beau named Pedro and his darling Zoë June

(Handsome Beau. Pedro. Darling Zoë June)

We went to the pool where we learn to swim
And that darling little Peter, he jumped right in
Had his class, did quite well, came out of the water like a roaring whale.

(Had his class. Quite well. Out like a roaring whale.)

Then in a flash he bit Zoë's finger!
Like I said, its a real humdinger
Why he did it, I'll never know, but she screamed like a hard rock singer

(Bit her finger. Real humdinger. Screamed like a hard rock singer.)

Then Zoë kicked and flailed about
And knocked over her GLASS BOTTLE--it all came out
The glass shattered all over the floor--and into the pool? With a scream and shout

(Flailed about. All came out. Shatter with a scream and shout.)

Do I soothe the baby who just was bitten?
Or do I pick up the glass (like the rules were written)
OH--Peter is running around naked. The pool manager with my family is smitten.

(Baby bitten. Rules written. Naked crazy family smitten.)

Welp. Classes were canceled. From the pool people fled.
They pulled out the drainer and I turned bright red.
I guess I'll sneak out with my naked boy, my upset baby--"Sorry" I said.

(People fled. Turned bright red. A sorry little "sorry" I said.)

And that is why we don't bite our sister
Pools get emptied, glass gets shattered, mister
Half the town can't go swimming and your mom's stomach is a tummy twister

(Bite our sister. Shattered mister. Mom's stomach is a tummy twister.)

Wow. That was NOT my best poem. Weird rhyming pattern. But hopefully you get the picture. I've just been thumping along this little tune in my head all week and wanted to share the story in a silly way.

Ok, seriously. Talk about consequences of one small choice. The lifeguards were VERY nice (which, I realized afterward, was because my crazy family was getting them out of having to stand by the side of the kiddy pool for a few more hours that evening.) The manager...not so much. And yes, they do still make glass baby bottles.

We actually had the nerve to go back two days later for a Saturday family swim. One of the lifeguards recognized me when I walked in and just started laughing his head off. He said he thought I'd never come back after what happened.

We've all had our kid evacuate the pool one way or another---amiright?


  1. SO sorry.. Very funny I must admit only because I have been there got the t-shirt and so glad my boy is 12 now.

  2. Oh Man. I have So been there. Our own little stinker (who is now 17), once decided when he was 3 (on our first day in a new ward) to PULL the fire alarm switch... (Why was the switch where a wee little three year old could reach it?!) This was in Arizona... It was summer. Everyone was evacuated from the building until the fire department cleared the building... Protocol they said... Yes, we made sure everyone knew who we were immediately... So embarrassing, but now we just laugh about it!

  3. At least they didn't have to evacuate the pool because your kid pooped in it. I've been at several pools where that has happened. You're the best Molly. I love that you went back 2 days later!

  4. I'd rather it be glass than Poop! :) Loved the post.

  5. as a previous lifeguard, this little guy would've been my favorite. closing the pool down for the rest of the night! I say that deserves a BIG huge ice cream, and a new train, with it's very own conductor. AND an invitation to come back and do it all again the next day

  6. Wow! Good for you for going back!

  7. You are hilarious, Molly! Love you!


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