Random Thankfulness

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Quite a few thoughts and feelings have been swirling around in my soul and I want to record them.

First of all--is there anything better than pie crust? I surmise that there is not.

Second of all--Why did I eat so much of it?

Thirdly--In all seriousness, I want to talk about how good I'm feeling. I can't give enough credit to Zoloft. I also can't give enough credit to "not being pregnant anymore." I know it makes no sense, but you know the quote that says, "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice." ? You know the one? Well I keep saying, "It's nice to be pregnant, but it's more important to be not pregnant."

I can touch my toes! I can sleep on my tummy (for short periods of time...my bosom is too large). AND--the cough I had since MARCH, yes, MARCH, is finally, finally, finally gone. Mostly. A 4-month cough? Come on now.

Also, (this is the important part), I'm realizing this is the first time I've enjoyed my new baby. My pregnancy with Lucy was a surprise--not to mention she was my first born--and I was just not ready for the onslought of motherhood. Vic and I had no money and things were stressful.

With Peter--well....I can't say that I'd recommend the death of your first child and birth of your second 11 months later as a recipe for joyous postpartum. As much as he filled an incredibly deep and tender hole, it was still very, very difficult to be grieving so heavily while taking care of a newborn. Not to mention I hadn't discovered the benefits of Zoloft yet and was a true insomniac. (Still am when it comes to naps).

Then Zoe came along. I wasn't expecting to feel this well after her birth. Oh, don't get me wrong. My house is a disaster, I'm lucky if I shower, I'm exhausted most of the time, and yes, Peter's toilet DID leak while we were at the hospital giving birth and we DID come home to a house with a hole in the ceiling and are now re-modeling his bathroom. (Which is also the guest bathroom---since this house decided to not have a bathroom on the main living level...because that makes so much sense and I love going up and down the stairs a million times a day. Multi-level houses are way over-rated. Where is the flat rambler of my dreams when I need it??)

Anyway--I'm thankful to be in a good spot. I have good days and bad. I cry for Lucy. I cry for no reason. I cry that Peter is crazy. I cry that Peter is so sweet. I cry that Zoe is here. I cry that my husband is hurting.

But mostly,  I cry that I can't afford a housekeeper and that I ate too much pie crust.


  1. lol your last line made me laugh. as always I love the rawness in your writing. keep it up miss molly. you have such a cute family!

  2. You are too funny. :) Glad that you are feeling well, and incredibly jealous that you are done being pregnant. I still have two more months, and I am SOOOO with you on loving having my body back after a pregnancy.

  3. I didn't really realize I was able to enjoy my baby until the 5th came (late, I know). The first one was a little girl and , well the first. Everything is new and overwhelming. The second one was also a girl but died shortly after birth. The third one was a boy but born 13 months later and the grieving was still going on and I didn't realize at the time but looking back, I was in a mild depression. The fourth one was another girl born 21 months after our son and we did have anxieties. She was born with Group B strep, in the NICU for 8 days and had bad reflux for a month. I have mentally blocked out a lot of her baby months. I simply don't remember. Our last is a boy. He came 5 years after the fourth and he is such a joy. He was calm, easy, and so enjoyable. I have enjoyed him so much and wish it didn't take so long to appreciate the blessing of babies. They have each brought something different to our family and are the same and unique. Congratulations and savor each moment :)

  4. Hi I’m Heather! Please email me when you get a chance! I have a question about your blog. HeatherVonsj(at)gmail(dot)com

  5. Hi Molly- I am struggling through these last days of pregnancy and so looking forward to sleeping on my stomach again- even though I remember that being tough with filled to the rim with milk boobs. I'm hoping for some relief from the emotional and physical pain. Perhaps a prescription for Zoloft is in my future. Are you sure they aren't sponsoring you? They should!

  6. I'm so glad you are enjoying your Zoe! We have a lot of similar circumstances we have been through! I'm sorry Vic is hurting; I'm happy you are doing so well!

  7. you are really starting to convince me that i need drugs this round... it sounds so flippin' magical.

  8. Glad you are enjoying the blessing of your new daughter. You're sounding very normal Molly crazy these days, which is wonderful. Sending prayers for Vic.

  9. oh my heck I love reading your posts! That make me laugh so hard. You're an incredible woman!


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