Why Death Has Been a Welcomed Guest

Tuesday, May 15, 2012


Tell 'em "Large Marge" sentchya. 

Vic likes to do a "photo shoot" of me every Mother's Day. These were taken in our beautiful backyard with our new bridge that Stinky built. So fun!

I've done a lot of complaining lately on this here blog. Boy, howdy. I have felt miserable. When I stop and think about it, I have been sick since mid-March, just before my benefit concert. I had a 2 week break where I nested like a mad woman and felt great but have been sick again since mid-April.

I knew my body could produce a lot of tears after Lucy died, there was just no end to them. But I had no idea it could produce this amount of snot. Being able to breathe is HIGHLY underrated. As is being able to bend at the waist and in general, not feeling like you are going to die at any given moment.

See, I've been very dehydrated but didn't know it. Also, I have extremely low blood pressure. EXTREMELY. Every time I go for a pre-natal visit, the nurse says, "How are you even walking around with blood pressure that low? I would be fainted on the floor."

Yes, well...I'd like to do that. Death (that of my own-- no one else please) has sounded absolutely wonderful as of late. I've seen no other way around it. I have felt so miserable in fact, that my natural child birth loving brain and body have thought that they should just knock me out and take the baby c-section because I simply can't do it.

So yesterday, right after I sent Peter off on a play date with Eagle, I started feeling extremely faint. Shaking, no color in my face whatsoever, rapid pulse, dizzy, etc. etc. Long story short--neighbor friend and nurse came over. Visiting teacher and wonder woman Michelle came over. They pumped me full of Gatorade, salt, coca-cola, tested my blood sugar, gave me anti-nausea medication, talked to me, and took me for a drive.

Turns out, all that water I've been drinking (I would go through three 16 oz. bottles of water between going to bed and getting out of bed in the morning alone), was flushing so much out of me that I wasn't retaining anything and my electrolytes were extremely low. And how dry is it here? Ugh. Stiflingly dry. I wish I had a 50 gallon humidifier in every room in my house.

Sooo....not in labor. (I was really having a lot of pains Sunday evening on a walk with my boys). And I'm feeling better. I might be able to give birth after all. Gatorade is my new drug of choice, and I'm just filling as many tissues as I can before D-Day arrives. This gunk has got to stop eventually, right? And the cough? The cough is going on about 7 weeks now. I can't even comprehend the bliss of feeling relatively  healthy.

We've got our Lucy wreath on the door, the nursery is ready to go (Oh my word--so cute I can't handle it--I still need a white dust ruffle for the crib and am having a hard time finding one)!, Vic has been working on house projects, and I'm writing long, random blogs.

To blog about:

-Mother's Day
-The nursery
-The Ducks (I'll just tell you now...one got eaten by a dog).

Don't forget to enter my fabulous giveaway for really great skin products. 


  1. Oooh, my favorite is the second photo!

    Delivery is kind of like grief. A lot of hard work and you just have to push through it (un intended) to experience joy in the end. I hope you feel better soon and wish you a fantastic delivery.

  2. You look so beautiful!!! Keep on keeping on and this to (sickness) shall pass! Good luck on the birth and I can't wait to read your upcoming posts!!!

  3. I had a bad cold about a month before my baby girl was born last year, and I felt like it never really went away. Finally, after my doctor broke my water in the hospital, I started coughing like crazy. With my lung capacity back, I spent those two days in the hospital clearing out all the gunk that had settled in my chest. It felt so good! Hang in there!

  4. Since I am a Sjoggie (Sjogren's Syndrome) I can definitely relate to dry. I have to move away from this desert.

    Love the photos! 'Large Marge' you are beautiful!!! Thank heavens for wonderful people that come to our rescue.


  5. I have a white dust ruffle and you can have it...seriously!

    I bet you'll start feeling much better after having your little baby. Being pregnant can really affect you immune system.

  6. You look great! I'm sorry you've been feeling so awful. And to think all that you've accomplished while sick (making a human, benefit concert, keeping up with popular blog and much needed website, mom-ing, wife-ing, etc)! You're freakin' awesome! I've had those fun (not) dehydration contractions. I'm glad the gatorade is working for you. I've been checking your blog every day to see if baby girl is here yet. Keep up the fabulous work!

  7. Wow- you look really good! (you always do.) I wanna look like that when I'm pregnant! I'm already a large marge and pregnancy will make me a Godzilla! Can't wait to meet my new niece! Hurry up!

  8. I had a bad cold leading up to the birth of my second. I was miserable. When it came time to push, I had a coughing fit. I was embarrassed and apologized. The doctor and nurse laughed and told me to keep it up. So, I pushed once and then coughed. I like to joke that I coughed out my baby. It sure was an easy delivery followed by some of the best sleep in weeks. Good luck with your delivery.


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