The Life Inside Me

By Molly Bice-Jackson - 5:13 AM



We had our in depth ultra sound on MLK Day (it does a body good), where we got to see the babe in more detail. I admit I was quite nervous. With the extreme basket case I was in the first trimester, I had what I thought was ample reason to worry about the development of this fetus. 

My mid-wife made sure to schedule me at an internal fetal medicine clinic that specializes in strictly ultra sounds, multiple births, high-risk pregnancies, etc. I was grateful for that...but again, it made me nervous. (Since I have no history of complicated pregnancies, miscarriage, etc). But I know she wanted the best treatment for me--a paranoid bereaved mother. (And her favorite patient). 

When I entered the room there was a "team" of specialists waiting for me. They asked me if I wanted to participate in a new study.  (Apparently it is going to be standard procedure in the near future to have an...excuse me boys...vaginal ultra sound required at your 20 week appt. to measure the length of your cervix. They told me a short cervix can be a big sign of pre-term labor. The research team told me they are hoping to prove that this invasiveness (just made up that word) is unnecessary and will take too much time. I didn't quite understand it all but I chose to participate in the name of women's health. I was given an envelope after I signed the consent form and one of three options would be inside--measure my cervix on the outside of my body.(?) take a measurement during the actual ultra sound, or get the royal treatment with the vaginal wand. They claimed to not know which one of the three was in the envelope. You guessed it...)

Thoughts on this? 


But I digress...when the doc came in to give us the full report on our little girl (yes, it was re-confirmed that "it" is still a "she"), he made small talk for quite a while. Get to the point, damn it! To make a boring story short, everything is fine. More than fine. Super healthy and great. I've got a nice long cervix, too. 

When the "team" left us in the darkness of our ultrasound room, I bent down with my bulging tummy and gave Vic a squeeze. I kept telling the nurses how grateful I was for my health. I told them what this little girl means to us...about Lucy. 

Something far too sweet about Peter, is that when he sees Vic and I hugging or kissing, he wants to join in on the action. Taking a break from his Prince of Egypt viewing, he walked over and put his little arms around both of us. It was so tender. I'll let you guess if Vic and I were crying. 

Next, we hit up Beto's for our favorite--Carne Asada Tortas (Americans don't know enough about tortas. But I do, since I'm married to a Latin). 

Then it was onto the aquarium. 

It was a beautiful day together. 

It feels so right to celebrate the little things and find joy in the ordinary. Because really, it is all extraordinary. 

I feel two kinds of life inside me these days. That of my little girl, and my own love of life--something that has been alluding me for quite some time. For all the spark of life, I am very grateful. 

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13 Loving Lines

  1. Can you guess if I am crying? How lovely to read this joy of life in you, both for your little girl and for your love of life. I truly feel prayers, tons of them from all we who love you, are being answered, not to diminish your own personal growth. How glorious to have life inside you. How glorious to have joy. I'm so happy for all of you!!! Thanking Heavenly Father for loving us so very much, knowing He wants us to have joy. Love and hugs to all!!!

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  2. I was there that same day getting an Ultrasound and I actually passed you getting off the elevator..felt kind of like a creeper since I knew who you were and you had no idea ha! But I've followed your blog for a little while now and I love it! You have amazing strength and are such a great example. I'm so happy all is going well with your pregnancy!

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  3. I've never commented on here before but I've followed your blog for a year or so. You're absolutely beautiful pregnant. I'm from Nephi fyi... small little town. Got introduced to your blog by a friend I worked with...anywho.... don't have any stories like most I just like reading! Congrats Molly... very cute family

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  4. I'd recognize the IMC maternal fetal medicine clinic like the back of my hand -- that place is fabulous. And yes, they are the ones who discovered I had a "short cervix" when I went in for a routine ultrasound at 30 weeks and delivered the next day. Total lifesavers, and their NICU is just fabulous.

    Have fun with the study! I just had to focus on my gratitude for such excellent medical care during my time with those doctors instead of any resentment for the constant invasions of privacy. Sounds like you're already doing that.

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  5. I'm so glad you're finding that spark. I'm always so anxious to read your blog, and I'm even more anxious to read it when you have this little girl!It sounds like you had a great day (except for the wand)! Sorry you had to do that. I've had to have that done more times than I can count due to a problem I have with ovarian cysts and I also bled early on in my pregnancies, so I'm unfortunately very familiar with those things. I hate them. I've only had it done one time when it didn't hurt, but if it can keep moms and babies safe then I'm for it being standard at 20 weeks.

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  6. You look great! I didn't meet you until you were about 8 months pregnant with Peter, so it is fun to see pics of you throughout the pregnancy. It helps me feel not so far away. I am grateful the ultrasound went well. I got the vaginal wand at 8 weeks with Annie...not fun...I sure hope that doesn't become standard...and I am sure it would be even that much more uncomfortable the further along you are. Way to be tough and take one for woman's health. Thank you! Keep the updates coming!

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  7. I just had to say how incredibly beautiful you are! And your belly is not too small, not too big, but just right! Thanks for making me smile today!

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  8. You look adorable Molly! There is nothing like a family hug~ that Peter is a smart little guy!

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  9. I think the information about the cervix would be helpful. My SIL would go into preterm labor with each of her children. The labor would start sooner with each of them. The first pregnancy she was best rest about two months, 2nd pregnancy about 3 months, and the last two were about 4 months of bed rest. It wasn't until the 3rd pregnancy, when she had a different doctore, that they realized it was due to "short cervix". They were able to monitor things better and I think have a better idea of just how limited her bed rest needed to be. I say, it can't hurt to have the information.

    Congratulations on your pregnancy and I know how much it helps to have a more in-depth ultrasound and monitoring done when you have gone through the death of a child. Even though your pregnancies have been healthy it is nice to be reassured.

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  10. Molly and Vic! We just found out about your new baby girl!!!!! I couldn't even breathe for a second!! We are SOOO happy and excited for you! Hope the miracles continue throughout the whole year!!!! We love you and wish you the best ALWAYS!! Congratulations!!

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  11. Sweet! We are excited for you all!

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