30 Days of Thanks #1--The Whole Truth

By Molly Bice-Jackson - 3:01 PM


*Photo by CARRIE BUTLER


I needed a break. 

I'm still recovering from the dark abyss I've been in. But I feel like I'm turning a corner. I haven't felt true depression like this in years. 

But I have to be totally honest. I owe it to my wonderful readers who give me such great words of encouragement. 

The whole truth:

Part of the reason I've been so crazy/moody/emotional/grief stricken/sleep deprived/insane is because

 I'm pregnant. 

Gulp. 

And I'm due on Lucy's birthday. 

And I do feel like its a girl. Though, of course you never know. 

And I had to go off my sleeping meds. 

And I've been quite sick. 

And exhausted. 

And overwhelmed. 

And pregnancy can do crazy things like make you breathe fire and stuff. And make your husband's deodorant smell like a dying hippo. 

The walls of my home were caving in, the walls in my mind were caving in, Park City was caving in on me...I felt like I had no where to run. No where to turn. 

But there are a lot of people who have been helping me and I get to blog all about them for the next 30 days in this season of THANKS. 

So there it is. Little Miss Molly is making another human being. It's hard work. I've been saying things like, "I wouldn't wish parenthood on my worst enemy. It's just too hard." (Because this isn't just about the alien inside of me causing panic attacks, it's also about the 2 1/2 year old stinker napping in the other room. Boyfriend is out of control). 

HOWEVER, this is what  I wanted. And still want. And am THANKFUL FOR. And it is what I shed tears of joy over, knowing Lucy and baby #3 will likely share a birthday. Of all the days of the year...(I've been given two due dates. June 8th, the day Lucy was DUE, and June 11th, the day she was BORN)

I'm thankful Peter will get to experience having a living sibling. I'm thankful my body is working well enough to get pregnant and hopefully all will go well for the next 7 months in the womb. I'm thankful for all of you great people. 

The End.


P.S. This photo was taken a few days after I found out I was pregnant. I hadn't left the house or put on makeup in days. I was so dizzy and exhausted. But Carrie totally boosted my spirits and I was happy to have an excuse to curl my hair and look like a human for a little while. That always helps. So does running. 

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53 Loving Lines

  1. CONGRATULATIONS MOLLY! I know it...growing another human is dang hard work! It's hard to be happy when your sick as a dog! I know that to be true. We will rejoice with you....and lament with you till you feel better. Feel free to whine your heart out;)

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  2. Congratulations and Good Luck!!! This picture is adorable!!

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  3. SO SO happy for a new baby to join your family!!! ...and so sorry to hear how sick you are. Growing a human IS hard work. hang in there and I LOVE the photo. xo

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  4. I couldn't be happier for you guys! Congratulations! I am sick for 9 months while pregnant and it can really take a toll on you emotionally and physically. I can't imagine going through that and also grieving. I really hope your sickness/exhaustion/depression, etc will ease up! You certainly deserve a break. What a sweet tender mercy to have your baby possibly share a date with Lucy. I feel like that is Lucy's way of sending her love to you! Congratulations again! Btw...beautiful photo! I love it!

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  5. That is SOOO exciting. I'm so happy for you and hope you will survive this rough first part of pregnancy. It really is the pits.

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  6. Congrats Molly! I hate that first part of pregnancy too, but hopefully you will turn that corner soon. I'm sure this little Jackson will be just as adorable as your other two kiddos. :)

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  7. Congratulations. Making a baby is hard work, and having a 2 year only adds to the fun of it. :) Can not wait to hear about your journey.

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  8. Molly and Vic...Congrats!

    No doubt this baby is so lucky to have you for parents..Cannot wait to see the little smoochie!

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  9. Congratulations!!!! And condolences on the sickness/anxiety/etc. I'm so sorry. I hope this first bit goes quickly. I wish you a pregnancy filled with peace and light.

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  10. I swear I am psychic ... totally thought you might be pregnant!! What a blessing! Good for you Molly! Congrats to all of you! Peter couldn't be any cuter, stinker or not, and boys are always on the wild side so just go with it!! Your picture certainly has a glow about it... love Lucy's little shoes~ she is alway present in all our hearts!

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  11. Congratulations!!! So happy for you.

    I love Lucy's sweet shoes in the photo. What a wonderful way to include her. Lovely lovely photo.

    PS. I am bipolar type2. I was able to stay on my seroquel (a mood stabilizer that I have to have to sleep at all and it also helps ward off the bad moods - both depression and mania) while pregnant with #4. It may be worth looking into.

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  12. YEA! Congratulations! I am so happy for you'll! Such a special time in your lives, thank you for sharing! PS - I'm finally going to become a grandmother in February! Your friend in East Texas, Pam.

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  13. You are a ROCK STAR! I can't wait to add another cute circle to the blog sidebar!!

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  14. Congrats Congrats Congrats!!!!! Holy cow!!! So excited for you. Those first few months of pregnancy are a trip that's for sure! That picture is so amazing. You have such a beautiful family and I can't wait to see your family continue to grow!

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  15. It's so strange - I had read your blog a long time ago and often think of you guys and Lucy's story, but had someone forgotten the name of your blog. For some reason today I got this thought to check it so I spent a few minutes googling, and came here to see the most wonderful news. :) So, so happy for you, and touched about the due date. Congratulations!

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  16. I love your family photo!!!!

    &

    Congratulations!!!!

    ToOdLeS.

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  17. wonderful news!! congratulations on the baby and i hope everything goes well. i know how hard it is being pregnant - i'm expecting, too.

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  18. Congrats from one angel mom to another! That is wonderful and I hope you get feeling well soon!

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  19. Congratulations, Molly & Vic!! I absolutely ADORE this photo--you look so *together*, all four of you...five of you!! I'm so excited for your family, so sorry for the pain, heartache, and darkness. Hope you feel the warmth of the light and feel better ASAP!! Yay for Jackson babies!!

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  20. I'm so happy for you!I wish you all the best through your pregnancy!!!:) Keep up!:) Thinking a lot about you!Fruzsi

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  21. A new baby! That is so exciting! Congratulations! I love the picture too..

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  22. Congratulations! Good news, good news, good news. Take care and keep writing~

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  23. YEAH!!!!! I am so excited for you guys. Truly a blessing and that photo is amazing.

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  24. I am SOOO excited for you Molly!!! Congrats to your sweet family. What a wonderful time Lucy and your new little one must be having in Heaven right now. Lucy's probably prepping her and telling her all the naughty stuff to do that she didn't get a chance to. ;)

    Seriously excited for you and praying that your depression will subside and that joy will take center stage in your life...

    -Melissa

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  25. OMG, Molly! I burst into tears as soon as I read the part about you being due on Lucy's birthday. Incredible. So happy for you. And sympathetic, too. But mostly head-over-heels thrilled for you. Congratulations!!!

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  26. yahooooooo! Congratulations to your family

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  27. I take pride in the fact that I was the first person (other than you) who found out you were preggo! Thank you for taking the test in my bathroom and letting me jump for joy in the living room with you. AND I'm overjoyed that we get to commiserate/go through this together, although I'm a few steps ahead...things will get brighter (and then things will get downright gross). I love you! And that picture...seriously. It's so frickin beautiful.

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  28. Congratts! Lucy is sending you an angel!

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  29. If we get to Heaven and if there is some sort of awards banquet that we all get to attend I think you just might take home the "Best Non Quitter" award. I know there's some stiff competition in the Old Testament, but seriously...you'd get my vote. You're a fighter.

    Hooray for the Jackson's! (The Jackson 5!)

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  30. Oh Yay!! Congrats. It is hard being pregnant. I'm 35 weeks and I have a little 2 1/2 years old that is crazy as well. I'm just counting down now and hoping I don't totally drive everyone crazy before this baby gets here.

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  31. What awesome news! Congrats! And the picture is gorgeous.

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  32. You and the new baby will be in my prayers.

    =)

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  33. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! What an amazing blessing for you guys! I got chills when I read that your due date is Lucy's birthday. Oh, yay!!!

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  34. Much love, and many many prayers. You amaze me.

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  35. Congratulations! Good thoughts and prayers coming your way! :-)

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  36. Molly, that picture of your family is beautiful - that's all I can say. That, and, CONGRATULATIONS! How exciting to have another bugger running around your home and lighting up your life. Our first is due Thanksgiving day - we are so excited to meet him soon.

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  37. Yay! You are baking a baby. It is hard work but pregnancy always reminds me how amazing our bodies are. What wonderful news.

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  38. I am so excited for you!! That is great!! Congrats!!

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  39. Congratulations! We are pregnant too and due on the 12th. I am way more scared than I thought I would be. For us, it's another first; having a baby after losing a child. So many emotions and feelings and worries! Thanks for helping me everday through your posts! You rock!
    Jan Taylor

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  40. How great would that be to have a positive on a day that has a tendency to bring painful memories of that cute little girl you are missing so much! I think you can look at this as one of the Lord's "tender mercy's" and know the He is aware of your trials! Good luck on your pregnancy!

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  41. Molly :) Congratulations does not seem a fitting word, but for lack of a better one I will use it! I am elated for you and your sweet family. Thank you for the reminder of tender mercies and of real life...real life is hard...real life is beautiful...all at the same time. I will be praying for you and your growing baby.
    Love,
    Trista Gibson (Morgan-I am your aunt Georgia's granddaughter)

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  42. This is the best news ever. I am so thrilled for you!!!

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  43. So I've been lurking and stalking your blog for a few years now. And for some reason it never occurred to me, but my baby girl was born on June 11 last year. She's my only girl. And I couldn't be more excited for you!

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  44. Picture is gorgeous! So excited for your wonderful news!

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  45. Gorgeous, GORGEOUS photo! What happy news!! :D

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  46. Congratulations! I just read your Day 2 post and was wondering when I'd missed the announcement. Good to know it was on Day 1. :o)

    I wish you 7 months of pregnancy bliss. But if you end up like me and it sucks the entire time, keep your chin up. This will someday pass.

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  47. Congratulations! I am expecting also and due that same day. And that is actually what I thought of when they gave me the due date. "Wasn't that Lucy's birthday?"

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  48. Congratulations, Molly! I also breathe fire when I'm pregnant (at least that first trimester). I hope it passes soon. I'm so happy for you and your guys! Beautiful pictures!

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  49. WOW I literally gasped when I read that your due date is Lucy's birthday! If that isn't Heavenly Father working miracles, then I don't know what is! BIG conrats to your family! Love your blog!

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