Wednesday, August 31, 2011
In a former life, I was the director of the Boys and Girls Club. I started as the teen program director in Sugarhouse in 2004 then opened the Park City Club. It was actually two former lives, because I did it once, then "retired" when Lucy was born. After she passed away they asked me to come back. It was de ja vu, being there again, this time pregnant with Peter instead of Lucy. I love, love, love the Boys and Girls Club. It was such a great job. I was good at it. I enjoyed it. And I love the organization. You should check it out in your neck of the woods.

 I found out recently that one of my very favorite employees from the Boys and Girls Club lost his wife during childbirth with their second child. I was shocked when I heard the news and fell to my knees. I have shed many tears for this young man. We connected on the facebook last week and I have been so touched by the photos of him with his young children. Every milestone and anniversary with his newborn son is an anniversary of the death of his wife. My mind reels with what he is going through. How different, yet similar, our paths.

Another friend of mine went into the hospital last month because of gallstones and they discovered a large tumor covering her entire ovary--which they then removed. Ovary and all.

One of my blog readers, whom I've become friends with, just lost her nephew to a horrible and rare brain cancer.

A friend from college just buried her first baby who lived 2.5 hours. My heart breaks for her. She is so young. Her life full of so much hope and promise. And she is struggling. Struggling. Struggling. 

Have I succeeded in depressing you?

But this is the thing: I remember right after Lucy died truly being unable to manage and cope with the pain. I was intensely grateful for the people around me who were in a "better place" in their lives so that they could serve us. If we all lived in a state of pain and anguish such as ours was, we would all be helpless. I did struggle with feeling envious of the lives of others, that they didn't have this pain, but I tried to focus on the blinding fact that they were able to help because of their "pain free" existence.

Of course I have learned since then more details about the lives of everyone who was so willingly there to serve us. And many of them were in just as dark of a place as we were at one time in their past. I decided I wanted to someday have the wits about me to be the one to serve. Eventually. Getting all of this bad and scary news last week made me realize how far we have come. I am not perfect. I am not all-knowing and wise just because of what we've been through, but I do feel we are in a better place and it is now our turn to step up to the plate and be the ones to help in someones time of need. It feels good. Tables do turn. Things get better. We all rely on each other. We have to.

To withdraw into our private sanctuaries not only deprives others of our love, our talents, and our service, but it also deprives us of chances to serve, to love, and to be loved.- Neal A. Maxwell


  1. Thank you Molly for your post. I needed to hear that!

  2. A whole lot of bad happens to a whole lot of good people... life shattering stuff. That is why we need each other... most definitely.

    WE have a new Bishop in our Ward... brand new (March) and shortly after (July) the call his wife finds out she has cancer (again) This time she has cancer in her sternum, liver, bones, lungs, spine and 22 tumors in her brain.

    Life is Hard. Alone would be even harder.


  3. First of all, I'm so so sorry for each and every one of your friends' devastating losses.

    I love this post. You're so right...those of us fortunate enough to be in a position of strength have a responsibility to be a rock for those weakened by grief/adversity. I've been lax in this area of my life--I'm ashamed that me-centered fear often paralyzes me into inaction. Thanks for inspiring me yet again.

  4. You pretty much said what i could not effectively communicate. +1

    My site:
    Rachat de credit

  5. There are so many good people....willing to do whatever they can to help in hard times. I think my sweet sister said it best, "this is the most wonderful side of World that you hope you never see." Tragedy really does unlock our hearts and we want to help those suffering. I am so glad to hear you are in a better place. I know it has not been easy. Life is never just how we expect it to be, but I am so grateful we all have each other for love and support.

  6. Thanks for sharing that. You expressed it beautifully. I sometimes think that certain people couldn't possbly know what "hard" really is... but EVERYONE goes through hard times at one point or another.

  7. I love your insight Molly. Thanks for sharing.

  8. Thank you for this post! I really needed it. I am moving out of my house this weekend. I am terrified. All I can think is I wish it to be a year from now, I don't want to live through this.
    I know that if I don't live through this I won't learn or get stronger but getting stronger is so hard and painful.

  9. And I love that quote and I am going to post it. Right now my own words get me in too much trouble so I will use other people's words.


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