Still Kicking {And Screaming}

By Molly Bice-Jackson - 6:00 PM

It's a little difficult to blog when you don't have a computer.  Just sayin. I'm currently at Rachael's house pumping out this little ditty.

But I'm still here and I'm still kicking.

Truthfully, I have needed this forced break from online madness. I was just too sucked into a vortex of other people's lives that I had lost my center. But I'm finding it again. Mostly because I'm running. And spending my time with Peter and loved ones without television, Internet, news... anything. This wasn't really my choice, it just happened. And its also just what I needed.

I have found myself wanting to grieve more quietly, more privately. As a friend commented this summer, "You have become the poster child for grief." And I won't lie, it has become a little wearing. I have felt a shift. Something calling to me to take a step back from proving my life, my loss, my love, my grief, and just  absorb the goodness and the lessons and let them become manifest in quieter ways. I want to serve on a smaller, more private scale in my neighborhood and with my family and friends. This does not mean in any way that I will be stopping A Good Grief or this blog. I guess it just means I'm trying to focus on living my life instead of showing people that I'm living my life.

The unbelievably darling photos of Peter at Easter will still be shared. The photos from the magic in St. Louis will be posted. Maybe my posts will be shorter, maybe not. I'm not sure what it means. But I'm going with the flow and we'll see what happens.

I'm still here. And I know you are too. Frankly, it amazes me. I'm a lucky girl to have so much support and love in my life.

And now, back to the dinner party.

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6 Loving Lines

  1. Grief is a funny thing; just when you think you understand it and know all about it (a little too much actually), it suddenly changes on you again! I know there is a great poem that really describes it well that you've probably even heard, but sometimes it is loud, and sometimes it is quiet. Sometimes it is your worse enemy, and other times, almost a friend, grounding you when you least expect it. Good luck on this new part of your journey!

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  2. I have been a "silent" follower for a while and just want to say how proud I am of you recognizing this newest need-you are still learning, the grief process is life-long and you will go through so many different sides of it and I think sometimes it is hard to focus on what we NEED versus what we feel we should be doing/showing. So, on that note, enjoy your "time away", in whatever way that means and in whatever capacity that means as far as your blogs know....just know there are so many out 'here' still thinking of you, praying for you and learning from your life/family and sweet Lucy. Thanks for sharing her and your journey.
    Love Em

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  3. I love when we get to have those "AHA!" moments and we finally realize what we need. And if its a really good moment, we also know how to get there.

    Jan Taylor
    brianandjansboys.blogspot.com

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  4. Glad you're still here. :) And glad you've enjoyed a break. :)

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  5. Good luck on this latest shift in life Molly (not that we are going anywhere).

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  6. perfectly said. Good luck...you deserve only the best:)

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