Meet My Readers Monday

By Molly Bice-Jackson - 5:00 AM


MARI

I hope I can do an adequate job capturing the impact your blog has had on me in words.  I am married to Ed (for 17 years) and mother to Betsy, 11 and Jack, 9.  I’ve been trying to organize ideas in my head to convey the ways your blog has captured my heart.  Why do I check it routinely for new posts, and is that creepy?  I happened upon it last fall when a friend of mine attached a link to it in her blog.  It was the post where you included a picture of a rainbow as it shown down on the fire station where you were with Lucy the day of her accident.  I went back to the beginning of your journey and read it all the way through. So what draws me back?  There are so many blogs out there, but only 3 that I check regularly – yours being my favorite.  I want to do a good job with this because it is important for you to hear my heart.  

There is a joy, hope, redemption in your writing.  It’s not just about the tragedy of losing Lucy, but the joy of living this life alongside the unimaginable in such a way that honors her memory and allows her to live on and to make this world a better place for those of us who remain.   You fearlessly walk right into your grief and grab it with both hands. And yet you are joyful.  You have hope which I know comes from your faith and I admire the partnership I see in your marriage.  I went to a service for a young couple who had lost their newborn. My friend, Erin, wrote a note to her husband that was read to the congregation.  In one part she wrote, “I can’t imagine being married to anyone but you.  I can’t imagine losing a child with anyone but you.”  It was so poignant – I imagine you feel the same way.  The way you do life inspires me.  I want to do a good job as a wife, mother and friend in honor of your precious daughter, Lucy.

I never knew true fear until I had my daughter in 1999 and imagined what my life would be like if anything were to happen to her.  How many times did I sneak into her room in the middle of the night to hear her breathing?  Clearly that which is a mother’s worse nightmare happened to you.  The words you put to it, the way you live your life and make your way through this journey inspires me so and I just want to take this opportunity to sincerely thank you.  I thank you for the generous gift of your words.  They have made me a better wife, mother and person.  (By the way, I would rather stay average at these pursuits in exchange for getting Lucy back to you).     

So I think of Lucy with her shock of golden ringlets and her accident.  There are so many things in life I can't come close to reconciling and this is surely one of them.  She didn’t choke on a gummy bear or cheetos while you were buying lottery tickets at the gas n’ sip.  She was eating an apple after leaving church with her mom and dad.   I tend to get a bit sarcastic when I pray about this but I know my Heavenly Father understands.  So many folks sleepwalk through life carried along by the current.  I so admire the way you live intentionally – choosing themes for each year, coming up with creative and meaningful ways to celebrate your friends, family and readers.   I see the enjoyment you grab from life, from your work, your church, your friends, family and your precious Peter.  I loved the photos you posted with the “Flashdance” finish.  I laughed out loud and wanted to scoop him up and zerbert his fat thigh.  

Little boys are the most amazing things.  I didn’t know this until I had Jack.  Last week he asked if he could wear the same pair of underwear again because it was “already warm”.   But little girls with all of their delicious tutu-ness… Their pinkness and princess ways.  I hurt for you that this piece is dormant right now and left void.  I hurt for you that you have little dresses in storage and tiny pink crocks.  So then I pray – “Dear God – give Molly another girl, No!  Give her TWIN girls because you OWE her an extra one!”  I know He laughs because He made me the way I am…

I truly think of you and your family everyday – many times when I look at Betsy and Jack together and think of your Lucy and Peter.  I am so sorry for your loss.  It isn’t fair and it will never be okay.  But I am inspired with how you have risen to it.  I want to encourage you, and thank you again for your generosity of spirit and the light you and your precious Lucy bring to this world.    


Fondly,
Mari Sandifer, Carmel Indiana



I absolutely loved what Mari shared and how she shared it. Her email deeply touched me.


I'm gallivanting around St. Louis for six days and soaking in the fabulous Spring weather. I lost my phone en route    to the "Show Me" state, and my computer broke the day before I left town, so I've been unplugged and offline (until this moment in time) for over 4 days--and truthfully, I'm loving it. Nie Nie and I were on the same flight out here and had a great time visiting with each other. What a beautiful soul and human being. 


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8 Loving Lines

  1. What a beautiful post! A plane ride with Nie Nie- it's a small world.

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  2. Beautiful post, Mari. Thank you.

    =)

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  3. Appreaciate for the work you have put into the article, this helps clear up some questions I had.

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  4. Carmel, Indiana is a wonderful, family-centered community. We miss it. Thanks for sharing, Mari.

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  5. so jealous of the 2 of you because my grandparents live in Lake St. Louis and I miss them dearly!

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  6. Her second paragraph captured EXACTLY why I love your blog - yet with so much more eloquence than I could have written. Beautiful post.

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  7. I can only say AMEN to everything Mari said! Thank you for expressing so good and especially THANK YOU Molly and Vic for being who you are and what you've accomplished! You truly are an example to many of us!

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  8. Molly,
    It was my blog post about you that brought Mari to your blog. She is a dear family friend and an exceptional woman who has so much empathy and love for everyone she comes across. Know you are loved by so many, and you continue to inspire and keep those of us who have experienced grief to keep going. I marvel at the many ways your life links the lives of so many. xoxo, eden

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