You Don't Understand

By Molly Bice-Jackson - 11:26 AM








No, really. You don't understand. I need New York City. It's not just a pleasant thought I have, some sort of ethereal daydream to pull me out of the stress and monotony of my everyday life. New York is a place I live for. If I don't go on a regular basis, I start to lose oxygen. I need it to live.

And I don't even have the strength to put in writing how long it has been since the last time I was there. Before I was married, folks! BEFORE I WAS MARRIED. And I'm married for eternity. So it feels like eternity since I've been there. It's a crime, is what it is. A crime. I need to go there. No, you don't understand. I NEED TO GO THERE.

Do I sound a little dramatic? Good. This is a matter made for drama. I NEED TO GO TO NEW YORK!! I know I already said that, but you're just not getting it. My desire to go there is so overwhelming it makes me want to hit people. And cry. And scream like a baby. I have to get my way on this...there is just no way around it. How am I going to pull this off? Ugh. I'm caught in a web of laundry, bills, poopy diapers, cooking, on and on and on. I need someone to please press the pause button on life, hand me a couple thou, and I'm outta here. I need to run through the streets. I need to eat food that will take my words away. I need to see Broadway shows. I need to audition for Broadway shows. I need Central Park. I need Brooklyn. I need the Subway. I need the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I need friends that make me laugh so hard I cry.

I woke up this morning and the very first thing that came into my head was a list of every swear word known to mankind. (Strange word if you think about it and break it up..."Mank and Ind") . The reason for this: Not enough New York in my life. Not enough dancing. Not enough singing. Not enough running. Not enough rascally craziness.

I'm so knotted up with grief and turmoil and crazy angry playful energy I don't know what to do with it. New York is the only answer.

I promise, you don't understand.

I might be crying right now.

Over New York.

Not joking.

Totally serious.

UGHGHGHGHGHGGGGAAHAHAAAAAAkvkf96673490rifiiopu=-7iujghg55







P.S. Don't forget the auction over at A Good Grief.

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25 Loving Lines

  1. wow. i guess one thing i can be grateful for today is that i don't need new york like molly. hope your wish comes true! the post made me laugh- even though i know it's not really a laughing matter.;)

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  2. If it's money you need...I'll make a contribution. I'd hate to lose a fellow blogger to NewYorklessness.

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  3. haha! I shouldn't be laughing, I know it. I don't understand, but I do understand that I want to go there to and do all the same things. But I want shopping to happen there too. Good luck. Hope you can go and SOON! :)

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  4. I hear you.

    And though New York isn't my particular need, I completely understand having one that runs counter to the fabric of everyday life as you know it.

    I always stayed the course (we moms postpone a dream or two for our kids sometimes), but I do have one tip: Fight hard to squeeze every bit of New York-ness into your life...however, whenever, and wherever you can (even as a young mother).

    That pretty much saved me.

    =)

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  5. Ok after reading this I guess my email to you really didn't hit what I thought you were dealing with. I've never been to New York so you're totally right I Don't Understand but the offer to talk still stands no matter the dilemma. Wish I could help. I do get the life thing taking over though. I feel like things never slow down and I'm always just doing the same thing in the same house all day long, everyday.

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  6. That post made me lol. I have the same need often for New York. (Not the auditioning on broadway, but just about everything else you listed.) I knew we could be fast friends, but yep- this post confirms it. :) I hope you can make your way to NY soon- and eat at Serendipity while you're at it.

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  7. Molly Malissa Bice! we've been having the same dreams! Perhaps you and I can work something out to get our Big Apple Fix! You bring a wide smile to my face - and open my heart wide with love. How can I be the father of such an amazing daughter so full of "mature retardedness"? Can't tell you how much I love you! - Your DAD

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  8. I nominated you for a deserving family on the Nate Berkus show after I saw your extreme home makeover post. He's in NYC so I'm going to send some positive thoughts that they will call you!!!!

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  9. Heather...

    You didn't! You are sweet and thoughtful. I'm sure there are many, many deserving families out there. Most more deserving than ours. It gave me a great big smile reading that you did that. Thank you.

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  10. Miss Molly I certainly hope you get your trip to NYC. I have never been... one of my friends just went. Her travel and your post make me think that I too would like to go to NYC one day.

    ToOdLeS.

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  11. I'm jonesing too. Probably not as bad as you, but I've been doing the NYC drool lately. Shall we share Karyn's couch together??

    Rachel Whatever my last name is. I can't keep it straight.

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  12. Molly, I am going for the first time nest year - a bit cliched I know, but it is the big Four Oh so thought it was time I gave NYC a go (ooh it's all rhyming today!).

    I'm an English tourist so please please would you give some hints on best things to do, don't miss etc? It'd be great to have some inside knowledge!

    Thanks, in anticipation

    H xx

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  13. Trust me, I think I might have a small understanding when it comes to this NYC fever!!! I've only been there once, but it transformed me and brought me to life in the most beautiful way, and since that time my heart has ached and longed to return!

    I hope it happens for YOU soon, because....

    "These streets will make you feel brand new. Big lights will inspire you, let's hear it for New York, New York, New York"

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  14. Me too! I have never been, but somedays i just sit and cry cause i want to so bad! I want to all that you do but just not audition for the shows. :-) I hope you find a way and get to go!!!

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  15. I feel your pain...really I feel your pain. I really really really really want to go to NY. The Met, the shows, the New Yorkness of it all. Good luck and know you're not alone...Let's hear it for New York!

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  16. I felt really claustrophobic in NY. I'm more of a wide open spaces kind of gal :) But I have to tell you my friend Tiffany just returned from a "shopping tour" to New York City and it sounded like a total blast! Here's a link to her blog so you can drool along with me ;) Love you!
    http://rickandtiffanyvincent.blogspot.com/

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  17. I get it. Oh I get it. I miss it...I think about the city a lot. A city I didn't love at first, but one I really, really came to love. I could move back there and be pretty happy, but I don't think the hubs would even consider it. I probably don't get it in the same way you do, but I get it.

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  18. I am going there October 20! It's my first time and I am so excited! This only makes me more excited to know how fun it will be :)

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  19. did you say something about wanting to go to NYC? ;) You're right, I do not understand, but I hope you get to go! I have only been once in my life. I guess I need to go again.

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  20. I've still never been there... at all. So wrong. Can I come with you? Please?

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  21. I hope New York is in your near future, Molly!

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  22. I say stop the presses and pack your bags and you go girl......the laundry will wait and so will the cooking....not so sure about the bills or the poopy diapers! But in the end they will get done. I hope you make it.

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  23. I used to know that feeling...but then I had kids and the thought of schlepping groceries, care seats, strollers, or whatever else must be schlepped when families are involved--made me not need it anymore. But there are other places I long to be, anywhere a good friend can be found marks the top of my list- even if that place happens to be Siberia.

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  24. I wish I had your number, I'd call u right now. We met once, at the jacksons in Spanish fork....... Jet blue is running a sale right now, a nonstop flight to NYC for $79!! I just booked for the second week in December. You should book too and our hunks of burning love can talk about law while we skate in central park. Think about it :)

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