Monday, July 19, 2010

Sometimes I'm not sure if I can do this thing. This thing called life.

It beats me up.
It drains me mentally.

Memories haunt me.
Memories humble and remind me.

Bitterness bites me.

It's confusing and just so hard.

It's 2 a.m. and I can't sleep.
Because I miss her so.

Her "B", her bunny ears, and her Mommy/Peter Pan doll. Her favorite things. I was so naive about what would happen 4 weeks after I took this photo. What am I naive about right now? What am I not treasuring that could be gone tomorrow?

My long-time friend just lost his niece. It all comes flooding back to me when I read their blog. How any human being can endure this is beyond me. It is all beyond me. I don't know much anymore.


  1. So sad. Their story is heartbreaking. Lucy's story is heartbreaking. Life is so confusing to rain these trials down to so many families. I'm so sorry Molly. Sending a cluster of big hugs your way.

  2. It makes sense that this fresh loss would trigger your own grief. I know you and other parents who know this pain firsthand will be a great resource to your friend's family.

    I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Life is a hard job. Thankfully, we all have each other to support us through it.

    And to share the joys, as well.


  3. I read about their tragedy. It is heartbreaking. I don't know how you keep on going, but you do. You are an example, even in your extreme grief and sadness. You can endure!

  4. I have been following your blog for a while now. I have commented before. I love your writing. Your pain hurts me everytime. I have also been following the blog you linked. They are from my town. We are all LDS and you guys are both just moms like me. And I too wonder how any human being can endure this. All the time I wonder that. All the time. And I cry for you and now her too. It isn't fair. I actually sent her you address to your good grief site yesterday morning hoping she can find help as I assume her journey just gets harder. It may not matter but I am with you. I mentally support you and mourn with you and wonder how you are and how it is possible to endure. But you are. You are making it. And Peter needs you to. Luv ya.

  5. Molly,
    Thanks for sharing that blog. I cried and cried and squeezed my little boys a little tighter. I think life is hard-but what you have been dealt is exceptionally hard. You have been such a strength to so many-you must keep up the fight. Thanks for sharing the happy times, along with the sad. We're going to make it.

  6. Molly, NO ONE is exempt from pain, trials and suffering in this life, but surely you are experiencing one of the toughest. I don't know how you(and others) do it, but you do. How blessed you are that you don't do it alone, and that your husband(especially), friends and family are there to buoy you up.
    I joined the church when I was 20, and reflect on how much better it would have been to go through some major trials(before that)with the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life, with prayer, and with the knowledge of a Father in Heaven who loves me...
    It doesn't always take the pain away, but it does help you make it through. I hope and pray that through the most difficult of days you can feel that heavenly help and peace.
    The video of Lucy is just precious.


Powered by Blogger.