Eldon and Heather

Thursday, July 1, 2010

For a very powerful and honest look into loss, please read the latest post on A Good Grief, written by my friend Eldon Kartchner. Eldon and I had mutual friends in college. He was a performer. Crazy, fun, talented, handsome, hilarious--and somehow he ended up being one of my teachers in the Missionary Training Center. We had a ball.

He recently lost his beautiful wife to cancer, leaving him with two small children. And we also just discovered that his wife and Lucy share the same birthday. His recent email to me reads:

Foremost I just wanted to send love and say sorry. June is hard.

Also, I wanted to admire out-loud your website and efforts to help others through it. Starting an organization to assist with others' time of grief is so noble to me, and yet one of those things that isn't quite in my field of "I could realistically do that", so I admire that you have. Once, too long ago, you asked if you could copy something from my CaringBridge writings. Absolutely - any of it. I have no concerns about which pieces feel like they might meet the need of Agoodgrief best, but I don't have any reservations about you picking and choosing what would, so long as it helps along the cause. I can't tell you how much my Heather would love that.

Again, just feeling some sorrow for you this week. I so hate the emptiness and longing that comes as a part of grief. I recall the days when we met (and you were then better known as "Smolly Spice") and I often have the experience of reflecting on people and events of the past and wondering how that person of the past could have ever known what heartache lay in wait. I try not to do that too much, because it ultimately scares me for the future and who really needs that at ALL!

So anyway, much love -


And now you should go read what he has to say on A Good Grief. I hear of more and more people losing spouses. This is a rare look at loss from a man's perspective.

Hugs from me to you.


  1. I have no words.

    I clicked
    I read
    I cried
    I don't understand why?

    I feel for anyone that has lost anybody... all I can do is hope that you all will find comfort and peace as you heal.


  2. i also clicked, read, cried.
    his (and your) pain is unfathomable.
    thanks for sharing! ((hugs))

  3. you two have a gift for putting real grief into writing--in terms that others like me can truly feel. i feel for you and eldon, and anyone that has lost someone so close. i cried when reading eldon's written words. i couldn't bare losing ben.
    i appreciate both you and eldon's candor. losing someone is not easily "consoled" by saying, "it's gonna be okay... she's in a better place... you will see her again..." those things don't take away the unbearable pain of continuing living without the loved one. i am so, so, so sorry molly and vic (and eldon).

  4. Absolutely devastating.

    "now everybody else has a mommy except us!" -- there are no words for that. just love.

  5. Ah. I haven't visited for a long time. But I am glad you are still here. Living. Enduring. Sharing. Hoping. Loving. Holding on.


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