To My Son

By Molly Bice-Jackson - 8:18 AM




Dearest Little Peter Boy,

I didn't know that your sister, Lucy, would have only one birthday. Just one. We had a small party for her. And it was sweet and wonderful. But after she passed away, I realized what a big deal birthdays are. Another year alive. Another year with our loved ones. And I vowed that I would make your first birthday a huge celebration. And we did! It was all I could have hoped for and more.

Mommy's friend Rachael, was very generous in opening her big beautiful home for us to use. You are loved by so many people that we needed a lot of room for all that love. Over 50 people came and you were in heaven. So many kids to play with, so many things to explore! Although your actual birthday is not until April 8th, I am writing this birthday letter to you now since mommy will be flying to Boston on your birthday. I will miss you so much, but you and daddy will join me two days later.

There was so much delicious food at the party. Mommy couldn't stop eating the brie with cranberries, walnuts, and brown sugar. You enjoyed the deviled eggs and daddy, of course, drank the salsa like it was soup. I worked hard on the days leading up to the party sewing a felt birthday banner for you. It's going to be a wonderful tradition to hang that banner for every family birthday, including your angel sister's.

Rachael helped me plan the Easter Egg hung, and Brasilia brought a huge pinata for the bigger kids to enjoy. Everyone had so much fun talking and eating and playing. Although it was an Easter themed party, there was nothing but white snow out the windows. It reminded me how much color and life you have brought into our family even when the outside world is cold and blustery. You have been the epitome of new life and new birth to me.

Peter, you have such a sweet disposition. You rarely cry, you are patient, and you just go with the flow. You crawl at lightening speed and love exploring the world around you. Especially electronics and gadgets. You want to know how things work. You love eating goldfish! Definitely your favorite food. You have eight teeth already! You are so close to walking but you refuse to walk unless I am holding BOTH of your hands.

I love walking into your room after you wake up from a nap. You have such a beaming smile on your face. You are a big boy too! Already wearing 18 month clothes. You've got to start walking soon or you'll break mommy's back. Daddy likes to tell you that you are 1/5 of mommy's weight...so be gentle with her!

You have loads of beautiful hair. I finally gave in yesterday and trimmed your bangs so you could see a little better. What a handsome little man you are. Daddy and I pray for you every night. We thank Heavenly Father for sending you to us. This past year you have helped us heal so much and given us so much hope. We love your giggle, we love watching you watch Baby Einstein and Elmo's World. We love how much you enjoy reading. You also love pushing things around the floor..balls and cars especially.

The older you get, the more you look like your sister. You point to her picture all the time. I hope you will know her and have a special relationship with her. How lucky you are to have a guardian angel. She will always look out for you and protect you. I pray you will make good choices in your life.

Thank you for being such a brave young man. Daddy and I have held you and cried many nights because we are so grateful for you. You are a reminder that life goes on. We are scared to ever lose you, but we know it is not up to us. I have a feeling you will be here for many years to come. I can't wait to take you to the zoo this summer, to kick a ball with you in our new backyard, to continue watching you learn and grow. It makes my heart swell with so much joy.

I love you, son. Happy, Happy first birthday. What a wonderful world we live in. I love seeing you discover it. I hope to show it to you through my eyes of hope and appreciation. Thank you for the Easter kisses. You are such a smart little boy with a giant, wonderful spirit. What a handsome devil! I love you forever and ever--

Mommy










*To view all the photos from the party, go HERE

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26 Loving Lines

  1. What a beautiful celebration! And I'm so glad that Peter has brought you such healing. We all prayed that he would.

    You look great, Molly.

    =)

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  2. Such a handsome boy.

    He really does look like his sister (at least, from pictures I've seen)... which means they both look like their Mama.

    You're an inspiration, Molly. Even on your sad days.

    Happy Birthday (in 3 days) little Peter!!!!

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  3. I love it. What a beautiful birthday post. And you look great.

    Hugs.

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  4. Happy Birthday again Peter!! It is so fun to see video of you Molly... makes "getting to know you" even more special!

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  5. Happy Birthday Peter! Molly, I'm so glad you got to have such a huge celebration for him, and for you. I always think that the first birthday is as much a party for the mom as it is for the baby. It's your anniversary and definitely an accomplishment to have raised a baby. Lots of love to all of you. Hope we cross paths again soon. funny enough - David is in Boston this week too, but will be in CT when you get to MA on Thurs!

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  6. What a PARTAY~!! Sweet letter to darling Peter--he really is such a doll! I can't get over his blonde hair & his happy face--cheeks that look edible!!

    Sounds like the party was a hit--kudos to you, Mama & friends, for all of the energy & time. Looks like Peter loved every second of it!

    Have fun on your East coast trip! Trevor is in NYC this week & LOVING IT.

    Sending kisses...

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  7. Molly,

    You are such an inspiration. You make me want to be a better parent to my boys - by making me focus on the painful reality that regardless of life's path - my time with them will be too short. Thank you for reminding me that I need to make today great for my boys!

    Love you!

    Ben

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  8. OH...that pulled on my heart strings. What a gift our children are, bigger than anything else we could ever receive. I am so happy that you have him in your life. So so happy!
    LCH

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  9. Love the pics. I so wish we could have been there. It looks like it was very successful and a lot of fun. Love you.

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  10. It is so fun to see him smile but it is even better to see the smile on your face as you watch him dig into his first birthday cake. What a happy mom you are - good to see! And you all looked like you had fun together. I am glad. I wish you three many more happy years together!
    -Sam

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  11. Okay I HAVE to know where you got that adorable shirt you are wearing in the pics....You are so dang cute!!!

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  12. Molly and Vic,

    Wes and I were so happy to be able to host such a beautiful occasion for such a sweet boy and wonderful family. We pulled it off without a hitch! You're a wonderful mama, Molly, and Peter knows it. The cakes, the banner, the decor, every detail was perfect. He will look at all of the pictures, watch the video, and read your letter years from now and feel SO MUCH love. I'm certain that Lucy continues to feel that love too.

    We love all four of your! Friends forever!
    Rachael, Wes and Baby Liam

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  13. What a difference a little boy and 1 year can make in the lives of those around him. I love that kid so much!
    Stinky

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  14. Peter we love you so much!!! We wish we could have been there to celebrate with you too. What a blessing and joy you are to the whole family!

    Love,
    Aunt Joy

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  15. Oh he is just so gorgeous.

    Wish we would not have been out of town.

    What a fun party!

    Happy Birthday Peter.

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  16. What a beautiful letter! Happy Birthday Peter!!!

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  17. I so wish I could have been there to give him a big ONE YR OLD smooch!

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  18. Happy birthday to the Peter boy!!

    What a fun shindig. Again, love the pinata. And you're right, every birthday should be a big celebration - so glad you guys made it just that!!

    (PS Tell that Rachael friend of yours that I am in love with her hardwood floors.)

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  19. Molly this brought tears to my eyes. I hope you are enjoying all the love that Heavenly Father is sending to you :)

    I miss you. Was so glad I could see you before I headed out. Love you so, so much.

    Laurel

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  20. Mister Peter is such a handsome young boy... I love the color of his eyes... and that blonde hair.
    I love that looking at him reminds us all of Lucy.

    Hugs!

    ToOdLeS.

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  21. Happy Birthday Peter! Thanks for letting us participate in your party! It was cool to see you in person and not just read about you! You're the cutest family! My oldest daughter Lorena who is Lucy's age, was saying that Peter is really cute! and I told her that Peter had an older sister just like her, but she went back to Heavenly Father and nodded like she understood. Kids are amazing! Love you guys!

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  22. I love how peter looks around when everyone starts singing! A confused look on his face! Happy birthday Peter! We love you!

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  23. Hi Molly,
    you have a beautiful family
    Peter's so adorable.
    Happy birthday to him :)
    God Bless.

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  24. I agree, birthdays are most important! Looks like your little Peter had a great one.

    We're celebrating our girl's birthday this week--complete with releasing ladybugs at her grave. So much fun, especially for the children.

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  25. Such a handsome boy! I don't know how you get anything done, with that little cutie around. I am sure you don't want to ever put him down! Great job on the birthday banner too. I am so glad that he has been your "light in the storm." I am sure your experiences make every minute with him just that much more precious. I know that because of Lucy- and your openness, I have remembered to make these moments more precious with my own kids.

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  26. Dang, Molly, you look good. I mean seriously good!
    I hadn't thought about that before about Lucy only having one birthday. That really hit me; I wouldn't have thought of that, either. I'm glad you had such a hoopla for Peter- how fun. I'm thinking of you guys.
    Jenn

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