Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me...

By Molly Bice-Jackson - 9:00 AM



Sorry for the loooong delay. I have so much to update and so many questions to answer. I've left you all hanging about my little T.V show, the sale of our condo and if that means we're moving and to where dagnamit? And how cute has that Peter gotten and what, pray tell, have you been doing with your time? Not blogging for one thing. And its been a nice break. Buying new clothes, yes. And that's been a wonderful way to spend my time. After all the waiting, here's a snippet of Jackson December life:


St. Lucia Day bread on Dec. 13th


Cuteness multiplying before our eyes.


Ugly sweater party (with friend and funniest blogger) meets with gingerbread disaster.



Ward Christmas party with accidental on purpose matching outfits (including Puma footwear) and a frisky Santa. (Note the placement of Santa's hands. Don't note the ugly photo of me).


Edible Christmas ornaments.


Snow storms and manly things.


Pajama time bundles of cuteness.


5 days of hiking and biking in Zions with lots of Christmas kisses.










Every Asian tourist we passed proclaimed, "Ah! Look. Iss a two headed mahn. So coot!"

It was a wonderful Jackson Family Christmas this year at a gorgeous cabin just 2 miles outside the entrance to Zions National Park. While there was more snow than I had anticipated, I still got a couple of great bike rides in and plenty of hiking done. We saw our share of buffalo, long-horned sheep, wild turkey, and deer. Including a darling little baby deer (what is - a doe?) that I wanted to just SQUEEEZE. All of it was absolutely stunning.If you've never been to Zioins...you must. You must, you must, you must.


We didn't win the blasted gingerbread contest that we had been plotting and talking smack about for months on end. The friendly neighborhood teenage judges, while sweet, were perhaps lacking in the " I have eyes to see what is CLEARLY the best, most creative, best constructed piece of artwork" department. I will leave that to an entirely different post and have YOU, my readers, decide the winner for yourselves. Oh yes, we're talking long-time healthy rivarlry and creatively unique gingerbread creations--complete with traveling trophy. WE'VE NEVER WON! It's a crying shame.



Christmas night we had a special "ceremony" of sorts where we lit a candle for Lucy and read letters we had each written to her and placed in her stocking. Each letter told Lucy of things we plan to give to her this year in her honor: acts of service, forgiveness, a better relationship with Father in Heaven and many more beautiful and heartfelt things. My letter read:

To my daughter Lucy,

This year I want to learn to let go. Not of you--but of all the things inhibiting me from greater happiness and peace. I will continue to try and raise money for other children who have passed on--for their headstones. I mailed one check to a family who lost their 4 yr. old girl. Her birthday and funeral were on the same day. I was able to send checks and gift cards to other families in need. These were humbling things to do this Christmas in honor of you. I cry and my heart is softened as I think of the struggles of others and the life lessons you have taught me.

I want to give, and I want to let go...of judgements, of expectations, of hurts. I will honor your life by being a good wife and mother who isn't holding onto negative things. I can't wait to tell you next year how much more money we have donated in your name and how much more freedom and peace I feel.

Please be near me. Don't let me forget. I love you with all that I am--

Mommy

All in all it was a month filled with peace, friends, delicious food, and much kissing and squeezing of fat baby thighs. A recommended activity to cure all manner of depression, boredom, lonliness, and what have you.

We spent New Year's Eve at two different parties. First, with some families in our ward, and then onto a "younger crowd" with our friends Wes and Rachel Charles and a few of their pals from the Park City Singles Ward. We played mad games of ping-pong (ok, so I lost) and ate and drank the night away...until about 11 thirty. At which point Vic and I headed home for bed.

My one and only goal this year (other than the things I wrote to Lucy)-HAVE MORE FUN. That's it. Just have more fun. Enjoy life more.

Let the fun begin!

And after a little more waiting, I will answer your questions. We'll have a question-a-thon.

P.S. Look for new posts on Good Grief, new forum discussions, and new guest authors.




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17 Loving Lines

  1. I love Zion and although I have been there... I need to go and spend several days so that I can see all I want to see and explore more.

    We have been doing a bunch of hiking close to home and here in Nevada the high has been 65 degrees so it was a perfect day for hiking yesterday.

    I loved you letter to Lucy what a wonderful family tradition to always include your little girl.

    ToOdLeS.

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  2. I want December back. Cant live in the past though I guess. How can I live with that "feeling" all year long though! I have tried.. and I guess all I can do is try again.

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  3. Sounds wonderful... all of it! Happy New Year!

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  4. Hello, I don't read your blog but my wife does. She left it open and I have just spent a lot of time looking at your life....anyways, I just got done reading a book called "Hello from Heaven." If you haven't read this book, I would highly recommend it for you. And thank you for posting everything that you do.

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  5. It's really going to be a great year! I loved the pics of the family at Zions - what a cool place to celebrate Christmas. I am anxious to see pictures of the obviously underappreciated gingerbread house!!

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  6. It's a wonderful post.
    It's a wonderful family.
    It's a wonderful life.

    =)

    PS. It's a wonderful thing to see.

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  7. It was so fun getting krunk off of Martinelli's Sparkling Cider with you on New Year's Eve. Maybe next year, you'll even make it all the way to midnight! (P.S. I would like to volunteer for the Molly-Has-Fun-This-Year committee.)

    We love you guys.

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  8. Hey Mollz,
    Haven't checked in for a LOOOONG time (I pretty much have been absent on the blog scene) and it was great to read about your holidays. Your anticipated progression through the next year has me smiling. You deserve peace and happiness and MORE FUN! Man, I tell ya, that little Peter is something edible. Boy is he lucky I'm nowhere near him. It would be borderline child abuse if I got my hands on him. :)
    PS~ I saw a pic of the beautiful charm that Chelsea and her sister made for you for Christmas. Wow. You are so lucky!!!! And LOVED!!!

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  9. Peter is the cutest! Gotta get our two chunks together one day...hmmmm..

    I am glad that I wasn't the only one not "feeling it"..you know the blogging thing...

    Sounds like you had an amazing December.

    My neighbors went skiing in Park City over Christmas....was thinking of you...

    Just thinking of you....
    Angela

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  10. The "older" crowd will take the "younger" crowd on in a tri race anyday.

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  11. Molly, that was quite the update! Thanks for blogging - it HAS been a while :-) But, I think you raised more questions than you answered. You'll have to expand on a few things later... CUTE PICS!!!

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  12. Looks like you already are having fun! What a PERFECT tribute to Lucy!

    I look forward to seeing your gingerbread creation...I made a humble ginger manger and posted it on my food blog:)

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  13. Thanks for sharing your life with us - the good and the hard.

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  14. How cute are you all? Adorable.

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  15. Looks like a lovely holiday! You look amazing, by the way. And happy. I love your New Years resolutions and your Christmas letter to Lucy.

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  16. That looks like fun! I'm sorry you had to spend another Christmas and New Year's Eve, let alone another day of the week, without your sweet Lucy.
    The pictures of Peter are to die for! Also that vertical one in the middle with your husband and Peter looking over the rock.... it looks like Peter has a super giant hand! I did a double-makeittriple- take. :)

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  17. Even though I have never lost a child, I have lost something that was dear to my heart for what now has been almost 33years. A marriage. I believe that after a death this is the second most tragic event. I loved my husband for about 12 years, then an event happened that changed my life and childrens forever. He refused to think he had done anything wrong in his behavior. After getting back together 8years later we separated. I feel a lose that sometimes overtakes me with sorrow,other times I feel relief, other times I just miss being held, or hug and even kissed. I know it was the right thing to do but yet I feel the lose. I can't imagine the pain you feel for the death of a child, but unblinded heart ache comes in many forms. I pray that the lord will be with you everyday and that we believe families can be together forever. My heart goes out to you. I have been up lifted by reading your blog, which I found by accident. I am the one who has been blessed. Thank you for sharing your sorrow and the great spirit you have.

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