A Shift

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

"The Savior taught His disciples, 'For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it' (Luke 9:24)."I believe the Savior is telling us that unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives. Those who live only for themselves eventually shrivel up and figuratively lose their lives, while those who lose themselves in service to others grow and flourish—and in effect save their lives." Thomas S. Monson

Oh, my heart. I have been putting off thinking about this tragedy for too long. Tonight I weep as I see myself in this man's face. Yes, I am out having my New Year "fun", and while enjoying life is something we are all meant to do, there are seasons, some very long, of deep, deep despair. This photo brings it all back. I don't want to lose the tenderness of those early days without Lucy. My heart was broken open so wide that only the pureness of life flowed in. Now I worry about buying new clothes and how loudly Vic is crunching his cereal. As painful as it is, I don't want to forget what it feels like to be broken and tender. The look alone on this man's face, and the body of his sweet dead daughter... it has caused me to return to the root of what I believe. Of what I hope for.
Will suffering end after this life? Will we really be with our loved ones again? How can we endure this? Why is there so much pain? Pain. Pain. Pain. Why?

All will be well in the end. I do believe that. Why there is so much suffering now--I don't know. But I do know I have seen miracles in my life through my own suffering and I can only hope that beauty will be born from this. We must help.

"To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified."—Isaiah 61:3.

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  1. It is truly a sad situation in Haiti. And now, another quake. It's hard to understand the "why" of such suffering. Thankfully, we don't need to; our part is simply reach out and help in any way we can.

    Thanks for the reminder.


  2. I have been following your blog for a little while now. you are a BEAUTIFUL writer and have incrediable depth and insight. I loved what you wrote about not wanting to forget about being broken and tender. I loved it but I am thinking forgetting is probably part of healing. I don't know. I haven't gone through something like this. But you are wonderful and that was a beautiful blog. I haven't even let my self think about Haiti. I guess that is wrong but that pain is too deep.

  3. The loss felt in Haiti is almost too much for me to think about... each time I see the devastation I am so sad. There are bits of joy when they find another survivor against all odds.

    Does it amaze anybody else... that when they rescue someone each has a smile on their face praising God.
    Those that have nothing are more apt to rely on the Lord everyday.


  4. My husband showed this photo to me a few days ago. The hurt is so heart wrenching to see. Memories. Yes, memories. They are devestating.

  5. That picture is heartbreaking. I can't look at it and not cry. I had no idea what it meant to care so much or have such a capacity for love and concern until I became a mom. I can only imagine the feelings that picture must bring up in you. Thanks so much for your sweet and thoughtful text the other day. Love you.

  6. I found your blog through a friend and have loved every bit of it. Until today's post I have just read and learned. This picture is so very close to my heart because we to lost a little girl, a little Haitian girl. We were in the process of adopting her and had been over to visit her 4 times over the course of one year. We were at the point of having her passport printed and she got very sick very quickly and passed away. We were not able to see her, they had her buried (we were told), and then they sent us her death cert. We were absolutely crushed. We have since adopted and have been able to bring home 2 little Haitian girls after 3 long years of waiting. My heart breaks and I have cried for days over the devestation to the land where our daughter is buried, for our little girls now in knowing that their birth country is broken, and for the people that we love and have lost in that country. Oh how we love Haiti. May God bless our sweet little girls birth country.

  7. Molly,
    I'm not sure if you remember me but I was in the park city ward with you. Billy and I taught primary while you were the primary chorister. I wanted to let you know that you often change my thoughts on parenting. I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old. When I have days that I want to pull out my hair because my baby is crying and my little boy is jumping all over me; I look at your blog and I remember what matters most in life. I want to be a better mother because of you. You are fantastic. Keep it up.
    Laurel Hansen

  8. A heartwrenching photograph and a beautiful post. Yes, we must help! Thanks for sharing!

  9. Thank you, Molly. We contributed through your link rather than the donation slip at church! Then I made a blog post too. Thanks for the idea.

    I check in on you now and then. It is wonderful to know that you can smile and make funny faces and find joy in life.

  10. That picture is truly heartbreaking.


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