30 Days of Thanks #8

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Bubble baths by candle light with your 7 month old son in a large jetted tub.

Sorry, no photos of this one.

The squeals and kicks and shrieks.

I love it.

I'm all warm and sleepy and ready for bed. Wish me luck. I've been off Ambien for 4 days now. Magnesium and Melatonin are helping...but I'm not quite there yet.

Today was the Primary Program in our ward. Vic has his dream calling and is a Primary teacher. (I'm being serious)
He sat on the stand today with his gaggle of 11 yr. old boys.
He was nervous.
There was no question he was going to cry. But he was worried he was going to lose it and have to leave the chapel.
I watched him. My heart was bursting with love for him.
I listened to the beautiful children dressed in white singing about Heavenly Father's plan.
It began with a little blond girl singing a solo and the rest of the children slowly adding their voices. It was a heavenly choir but my little blond girl was missing.
On either side of me sat dear friends.
I was strengthened by their presence. Darci put her arm around me. She didn't need to say anything. I know she knows.
I rocked my little Peter and thought of our eternal family.
It hurt. It hurts.
Vic cried. He cried a lot.

The boys took Sunday naps.
Cookies were baked.
Dinner was prepared by the Vickster.
Beautiful music was listened to while the dishwasher hummed and I stroked my husband's hair while he cried some more.

My baby bubble bath with daddy standing by made everything better. For now. For tonight.

I always use extra bubbles.
For Lucy.


  1. Such a cute picture of Lucy...and it sounds like a pretty cute little Peter boy in the tub, too!

    I can imagine that the Primary program would have been at once beautiful and difficult. I'm glad you had your friends on either side of you.

    And of course, you and Vic are always there for each other. A good team.


  2. What a bittersweet day.

    Adorable photo!

  3. Precious picture of Lucy. Something about children's voices brings tears to my ears every time I hear them. I can't not cry when I can hear the kids singing in the room next to us while I'm in Relief Society. I loved sharing the Primary music calling with you in the Kimball ward. I remember the day you told the kids that you were expecting Lucy, and how excited you were, and how excited they all were. I think they knew that Lucy was going to be a wonderful little spirit. Love you. Hope you can rest tonight and feel peace.

  4. This post made me cry a little too.

  5. Sounds like a beautiful day with a beautiful family! Thinking of you often....a friend in East Texas, Pam.

  6. Love the extra bubbles for Lucy. A perfect touch!

  7. ah, c'mon. You could of shown the world a picture of you enjoying a nice bath with your baby. haha

  8. "For now. For tonight." Those two short sentences touched me so deeply Molly...

  9. My heart goes out to you both...
    Lucy's Mommy & Daddy.

    I am so sorry for your heartaches.

    Peace be with you in the tender moments together with Peter.


  10. Molly- Thank-you for posting something every day that you are thankful for. I admire you and Vic's strength so much!
    Thanks for recently posting a comment on my blog.I thought I would answer the questions you asked. Yes, she was my niece (my older brother Danny and his wife Lisa's daughter), and yes she had health problems. She was born with a disease called Mitochondria...the doctors said she would never live to be 1 year old and we were blessed with her for a little over 4 years. She was our Sissy. Her real name is Ashlee, I was extremely close to her. I miss her so much everyday. Although she could not communicate verbally with us, we had a way of understanding what she wanted and needed.
    I'm so glad that you have that sweet, adorable, little Peter in your life. I don't think kids know how much they help us deal with things. My nephew (Ashlee's brother) was only in kindergarten when she passed away, her sister Lindsee was only 7 months old. If Lisa and Danny wouldn't have had them, I don't know what they would have done.
    I'm sure when you walk into your home it still feels different, like somethings missing. I know it does when I walk into Danny and Lisa's home. It felt different immediately and it still does and it's been 7 years. I miss her sweet spirit and the feeling I had when I was with her.

    I don't know if you've ever heard the song by Alan Jackson called "Sissy's Song," but it reminds me of Ashlee and your sweet Lucy.

    I know nothing I say can ease your pain, I would like you to know that you and your sweet family are in my thoughts and prayers everyday! I so admire your courage! You are an extraordinary person!

    I so wanted to come on the girls trip to Boise, but I wasn't able to make it. It's been years since I've seen everyone.

  11. Molls, you are such a eloquent writer! I always love reading your posts. Always uplifting, always inspiring, always beautiful! I love you!


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