Meet Me in St. Louis

By Molly Bice-Jackson - 1:29 PM








The week leading up to Lucy's birthday was spent in St. Louis with my sister and her son, Jack. Although I suffered a severe case of insomnia and depression while there, Amy and her husband were gracious hosts...and I couldn't get enough of my nephew Jack. He is a ham and a half. As far as Peter goes--he flew like a champ and his cheeks are covered in kisses from his momma day in and day out.

We had a great time visiting the St. Louis Zoo, Botanical Gardens, the many neighborhood parks, going on runs, eating out, and just talking about why I'm so psycho. We still haven't figured it out.

I love my sister.

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33 Loving Lines

  1. I just wonder how you could NOT be going psycho? You've suffered the worst thing that can happen to a person (at least that's my opinion). Peter is wonderful and to be celebrated, as I'm sure you do every moment of every day. But, he's not Lucy... Lucy is gone and the pain of it, and the struggle with it, and the why of it are probably all still jumbled up inside your mind.

    My best advice is to let it come out...feel the pain, feel the frustration, feel the anger, and do it as soon as you can, because it will stay inside you until you do. It's OK to be angry, frustrated, in pain, and it's OK to express it, and from my personal experience, after you bring it all up and live through it then you won't be psycho anymore. Sound easy? It isn't, but you'll be SO happy once it's out.

    One last thought...it's not abandoning Lucy or betraying Lucy if you are happy...and it serves no one if you are not.

    God bless you Molly!

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  2. Molly every day that you are living and breathing and managing to continue loving, you are a miracle.

    I'm glad those around you are loving you up.

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  3. Beautiful pictures Molly. In your picture you look peaceful and beautiful holding one bundle of joy in your arms and one bundle of joy in your heart.

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  4. Gorgeous baby! Wow! And gorgeous momma. Keep on keepin on.

    Xoxo

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  5. How did he get so big and smiley already??!! Too cute!

    Did you get Shannan's email about getting together in July? I hope to see you and Peter!!!

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  6. I stopped by your blog today after several months and am a blubbering mess. Once again your writings are inspiring me to take extra time with my kids. Thank you for that important reminder when you didn't even know you were doing it. Congratulations on your second child.

    Lynne in Illinois

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  7. Molly I sure think you are beautiful. I don't know how you pull it off with insomnia... but my daughter mentioned names she would like for her kids... and when she said Molly... I loved it!

    ToOdLeS.

    ps. that lil guy sure has a cute smile.

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  8. I still feel weird commenting here as a stranger, and I hope I'm not being intrusive, but I just had to say: Peter is SO cute, and Molly, you're absolutely gorgeous.

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  9. I agree with Jan! What a lovely new look Molly! It's good to see you sounding better!

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  10. Molly,
    I love your new blog layout. It is so pretty! I'm glad you got to go see your sis too.
    xoxo

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  11. Wowsers, I clicked on your blog and thought I had been redirected to the wrong place. I love the new look. Seeing pictures of Peter and Lucy side by side is that much more of a confirmation that they look like twinlets! Hope things are going better in the S-L-E-E-P department.
    -Loves

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  12. Molly, it was such a nice surprise to meet you last night. I would have loved to sit and visit with you. You and Vic are such a gracious couple, and little Peter is adorable. I love the pictures you posted. Your children definitely look alike. I hope we meet again sometime when we can visit :-)

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  13. Thank heavens for sisters who are there through it all!

    Oh friend, one day your "normal" will come... I have my fingers crossed for you that it's sooner than later. Until then, just keep chomping on those lovable cheeks of sweet Peter! My goodness, he is a doll!!

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  14. Great look on the blog, Molly!

    As for the being wacko lately part, remember that your hormones are probably doing some major evening out, too. (The insomnia in particular makes me suspicious that hormones may factor into the equation in a big way.)

    So just do your best to be patient with yourself...and your body. Things will come right again.

    In the meantime, kissing on that cute little boy of yours is undoubtedly very good medicine! (As is spending time with your sister...so grounding to do that, always.)

    =)

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  15. I'm so glad you got to go on a vacation! I hope it was fun! p.s. I LOVE your new blog layout/setup.

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  16. Look at your new blog! I love it!!! I am so glad you got to spend time with your sister...they might not be able to fix everything but they sure make you feel a lot better! and that picture of Peter smiling is ADORABLE! I hope you get this sleep thing figured out soon... :(

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  17. I have been reading your blog for about a year now and have wanted to comment many times, but I've been shy. Your little boy is beautiful! I'm pregnant with my third boy, and I can tell you they love their mamas more than anything!

    Reading this post, I wondered if you might be suffering from post-partum depression. I had it after both of my boys were born, and it is awful. I had SEVERE insomnia, where I would go days with no sleep whatsoever. It is worse than regular depression because you are so sleep-deprived and stressed and recovering from a major physical ordeal. Add to that your lingering grief, plus the stress of moving, and no wonder you feel down!

    Consider seeing your doctor and getting screened for PPD. It's very treatable. Anti-depressants help in the short-term, and for me, yoga was a life-saver.

    You are in my prayers!

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  18. I am such a loser for not forcing myself upon you guys when you were here. I would have loved some intense psycho talk. Amy is amazing. She seems like the perfect big sister.

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  19. Vic and Molly,
    That little Peter is just deliciously adorable!!! Molly, aren't Sisters one of the Lords sweetest blessings? I am so glad you have her.I would be lost with out mine

    Jamie

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  20. Vic & Molly-
    Peter is absolutely gorgeous! I wish we could have come to visit you guys before we left for New York. We think about you often...
    Heavenly Father knows YOU & is mindful of you ALWAYS.
    Turn to the Savior, for He will comfort you and build you up! You both are AMAZING. Keep hanging in there.
    Love, Rachel
    P.S. I love Peter's big blue eyes, and smile. He looks like a good baby! Hope all is going well.

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  21. Molly--

    I agree with comment #1...how could you NOT be going psycho. A new baby is wonderful, but a tough adjustment--hormones, no sleep, etc. Losing Lucy is hard enough on it's own and all the other new changes in your life {moving?} and that's a recipe for feeling very, very out of whack or psycho. {before I forget to mention, i love the new blog look--I love the 'there is hope shining brightly before us...' I've been meaning to tell you that}. I imagine you have a pang in the pit of your stomach that never quite leaves... a constant reminder that Lucy's not there. So obviously I have no answers, just sympathy... sympathy that I hope says "Whatever Molly is feeling is FINE. If she told me that she wants to scream and cry and punch things that would sound reasonable. This has to be the hardest thing I could ever imagine and therefore anything you're feeling/doing/going through is exactly what you should be feeling/doing/going through." It's incredibly unfair, but I hope you keep enduring well, as you have been.

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  22. I haven't checked on you lately. The pain may not be gone but the joys are more often. Is that true? I hope so.
    Good to see you smile and your baby is darling.

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  23. Hey Molly- I have to agree that sisters are great to confide in during lifes "episodes". I love that Peter is smiling. I think of you often and send you my love.

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  24. Those pictures of Peter are precious. I love them! Aren't sisters the best? I'm going to go see "My Sister's Keeper" when it comes out and I'm afraid it's going to make me bawl my eyes out because it will make me think of my baby girls. Looks like you guys had a really nice trip. Love you.

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  25. I LOOOOVE what you have done with your blog. Mr. Peter is so darn cute,and I am sorry we never could talk the other day. . . our phones, not sure which, were acting up:) So, this will have to suffice for today. I am happy you could go to St. Louis. I don't know when it gets better of "feeling Psycho" Here, 3 1/2 years later, I still feel Mental! I thought for sure it would go away by now, but I was wrong. Hopefully that's not discouraging. It's not true for everybody. . . who's lost a child. . . ? We can just have a groupie of "Psycho's" I'll pray for you. . . much love. Take care of yourself :)

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  26. I am glad to see you had some time to get the blog revamped! Peter does look unusually kissable! I love St. Louis! I didn't realize you have a sister there! The Basilica is AMAZING! We discovered it on our last trip. I was mesmerized.

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  27. He is too too cute! I hope I can hold him soon. I'm glad you were able to see your sis.

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  28. Hi, and thanks for stopping by to say hello. I felt so very honored and special. Just wanted to tell you I LOVE the new blog 'look'. I think it suits you and your darling family!!! Hope Vic has a wonderful Father's Day tomorrow. It might be bitter sweet, but little Peter would bring a smile to anyone's face. God Bless!!

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  29. What a sweet beautiful little boy. What a beautiful mommy too. Happy daddy's dad tomorrow Vic.

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  30. I would like to second "Jans" comments and also say that I LOVE your new header and blog layout. Continually thinking of your sweet family!

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  31. Can't decide who Peter looks like! He looks like you and Lucy at the same time and in another pic he looks like Vic! Enjoy him, he looks like a real cutie!! Lots of kisses!

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  32. Love the new blog look. It is so pretty!

    And Peter will be quite the heart braker when he grows up!

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  33. Thanks for posting pics of your little man with Amy's little man. She doesn't update her blog regularly, so I'm glad to see him here. You look so much like her in your picture for this post. I have sisters who are great friends, and your sister is one of my great friends. Don't worry about feeling psycho. You're entitled. Hope you got to try some Ted Drewe's in St. Louis. (I'm Amy's friend Amy P.)

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