My Sister

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Below I have pasted the email my sister sent to Vic yesterday. After reading it, you'll see just just some of the many reasons I love her. She is so wise and so loving and wonderful. I can't wait to see her in 6 days.

It seems the longest I can go this week in between cries is about an hour...then it all pours out again. I am emotionally and physically exhausted this week. Reading this email brought the tears back again in full force. But they are good tears. Sacred tears. Tears of gratitude...

Hi Vic,

I'm thinking of you and Molly today, as I do every day. I know that the weight of missing Lucy is always there. It must feel too heavy to bear at times. I feel just a portion of it and sometimes it completely overwhelms me.

I know you've heard this analogy before, but I often think of the brother of Jared (in the Book of Mormon) and his lengthy trip to the promised land. Those boats could not have moved without the fierce wind and tempests. With still water they would never have reached their destination. But when they were in the depths of the sea, tossed about by the very winds that were carrying them to the promised land, the winds that their Lord could command to cease, they did cry unto the Lord and "he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters." And even while they were tumbling in the water for over a year, "no monster of the sea could break them." And when they reached their destination, they praised the Lord and did "shed tears of joy" because "of the multitudes of his tender mercies over them."

It is a wonder to me that they did not curse the Lord and ask why they couldn't have traveled another way, a more gentle way. But I think they recognized the necessity of the constant wind--"the wind did never cease to blow toward the promised land." This storm, this tempest, this fierce wind, this complete upheaval in your life is moving you toward the promised land. And God will bring you forth again upon the top of the waters. I love you so much. You are a sweet and thoughtful and dear husband to Molly. You are Lucy's father FOREVER. We are tasting the bitter fruits of the human experience. In a way it makes me feel so much more connected to all of humanity. To read about and remember and see the tragedies that so many have faced on this earth. Challenges that seem insurmountable. And yet humankind marches forward. Peoples wounds are lessened, their joys are shared. His eye is on the sparrow.

"And it came to pass that they were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fierceness of the wind.
And it came to pass that when they were buried in the deep there was no water that could hurt them, their vessels being tight like unto a dish, and also they were tight like unto the ark of Noah; therefore when they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters.
And it came to pass that the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land while they were upon the waters; and thus they were driven forth before the wind.

And they did sing praises unto the Lord; yea, the brother of Jared did sing praises unto the Lord, and he did thank and praise the Lord all the day long; and when the night came, they did not cease to praise the Lord.
And thus they were driven forth; and no monster of the sea could break them, neither whale that could mar them; and they did have light continually, whether it was above the water or under the water.
And thus they were driven forth, three hundred and forty and four days upon the water.
And they did land upon the shore of the promised land. And when they had set their feet upon the shores of the promised land they bowed themselves down upon the face of the land, and did humble themselves before the Lord, and did shed tears of joy before the Lord, because of the multitude of his tender mercies over them."


  1. That is beautiful. What a wise, and thoughtful sister you have. Everyone should have a sister like that. I never thought of the story of Jared in that way, and that is a beautiful and eternal way to think of that story. I am so sorry that the tempests and winds are blowing so hard for you Molly. I know that you also will be "driven forth and no monster of the sea" will break you either. Your husband, family, friends and even strangers are praying for you and with you. I hope that you will be able to receive some solace and tender mercies this Christmas season.

  2. Thank you for sharing this Molly. I needed it today. We had this lesson on Sunday, but it didn't resonate with me the same way that your sisters letter did. What a gift she is to you.

  3. This is really nice. I love the part that talks about the winds blowing them towards the promised land. Isn't that so true to us today. I hate wind though. But I guess if it gets me to the promised land, I'll take it. I love you guys. Keep on keeping on.

  4. I am inspired by your blog and love to follow your ups and downs. I pray that somehow I (someone you'll probably never meet) can learn from your thoughts and wisdom and be a better person and mother. You are a strong will get through this. It sounds like you have great people in your life with great words of wisdom to lesson the burden that has been given to you. I wish you a Merry Christmas.

  5. what a perfect story to relate to your situation! I wouldn't have ever saw it in this light. Sisters are the best and obviously very inspired by what we might need...I'm so glad you have her. Still thinking about you:)

  6. Molly,

    I found your blog on Baby Macs blog. My daughter is Angel Savannah on the same blog.

    I have peeked in on you several times before and just been completely overwhelmed and couldn't say anything.

    I just want you to know that ever since I first read your story there have been some extra prayers sent to heaven for you and your family every night.

    My little girl was stillborn at 35 weeks, and that was hard, but I cannot even imagine all that you have been through. I wish there were words to heal, but only time will do that... meaning: time will eventually pass to the point that you are reunited with your beautiful Lucy, and NOT that time will make the pain go away or make you "get over it".

    Your faith and strength in the face of the ultimate tragedy is inspiring to all that come across your words, and I can think of no better way to honor your little angel.

    Lots of love and prayers,

    Sarah Garner

  7. Absolutely beautifully said! :o)

  8. Thank you so much for sharing your sister's comments. Sometimes I really need reminders of God's tender mercy towards me.

  9. I love you, sister, for so many reasons, including for posting a skinny picture of me. You inspire and strengthen all of us even when you are in need on inspiration and strength--interesting how that works. Can't wait to see you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Molly, you have a great sister! This post really helped me with my week. I've never thought of those scriptures that way. Thank you.

  11. Sisters are wonderful, and your is particularly so. In fact, she is ALMOST as wonderful as mine. =)

    I bet you're glad she belongs to you!

  12. There is nothing like a sister to know how to speak to us. She is so wonderful, Molly, and I admire the deep love you have for each other. I am so moved that she sent this caliber of an email to your husband. It is so well thought out and sensitive. It is a remarkable parallel to the life you and Vic are living now, and it gives you so much hope. I have been thinking of you guys so much lately. I shake my head in disbelief daily at the hole in your life, especially at this time. I love you Molly. Please call me if you ever need anything.


  13. Hi Molly,
    I'm so glad we had a chance to visit last night. I'm so sorry that Lucy didn't get to sit on Santa's lap. I'm so sorry that she didn't get to hit at the pinata and dance with her little friend. I'm sorry that your hurting right now. I wish I knew what to say to make it better, to help you, but I guess the only thing I can say is I'm sorry for this bitter reality. It seems so wrong. I love you both, and I know what your sister shared with Vic is true. God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Ghost are with you AT ALL TIMES to provide guidance and comfort. We just have to listen. You are NEVER alone. I think of you daily. I love you guys.

  14. Dear Molly and Vic
    My heart just breaks for you both each time I read your blog..
    Lucy is so very lucky and blessed to have you for parents.. The love that I feel and see for your daughter while reading your blog is just so very very special and I cry every time...I found this quote and want to pass along to you... Your all in my prayers daily ...

    ((Grieving Mother

    She clings to the hand of God
    To keep from going wild
    And in His presence
    Comes to know
    His other hand . . .

    Holds Her Child

    © Thais F. Henry))

  15. Molly, You have a wonderful sister. Her e-mail is so well written, a great analogy. I've been thinking about you this week a lot. Every moment to my self, I wish I could call you (8@#$ phone)and chat and cry with you. But what could I say that hasn't been said and felt. really I just want to hug you both! Jenny

  16. I am glad amy is there with you now! She is great! even though i don't know either of you super well- you are both so easy to love. you remind me of each other too. all my love!

  17. Such a beautiful message. I shared this with something myself and others I love could and will benefit from. Thanks Molly's sister. Very inspired. Have a great Christmas Vic and Molly.

  18. You are such wonderful people! I love the comparison, I never thought of it that way. But why does everything have to be that hard! I guess otherwise we wouldn´t really progress. I have to agree with all of your friends, everytime I think of you I have to cry and hug my little girl!
    All my love and good wishes!

  19. I know Amy a little (she's married to my cousin Chad) and from the first moment I met her, I loved her. There is something remarkable about that woman. I don't know you, but if you're her sister, you must also be a remarkable woman. I'm so sorry for your loss, but so glad you have such a strong sister to help buoy you up in these times of sorrow.


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