By Vic - 9:34 PM

I miss Lucy. The other night I dreamed that Molly and I were somewhere Disneyland-ish. We had a tour guide showing us various things. We stopped in front of a shop window and looked in. It was filled with “princess” items and I thought, "Lucy will love this. She will be so excited". Then it hit me that I couldn’t share it with Lucy. My heart broke and I turned away and sobbed. It was enough that the tour guide stopped...

The sorrow and dismay are overwhelming sometimes. But that is not all I feel.

About three weeks before Lucy’s accident we were getting ready to move into our new home. There was so much painting to do. We had the help of wonderful friends, but there was still a lot of work to do. Towards the end I found myself painting here alone, Molly was at home taking care of Lucy [you know how 2 year olds and wet paint mix]. To keep myself company, I pulled out some of my old CD’s. General Conference, April 2000. There was one that stood out to me.

I am relatively young, and very few of my friends and loved ones have passed away [I'm 36. 3 of my 4 grandparents are still very much alive]. Until this loss I had lived my life without much interaction with death. I believed in the Resurrection, had felt the spirit tell me it was true, but had mainly focused on other principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ that seemed a little more immediate and pressing.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks gave the talk. The talk is about one thing. The Resurrection. I don’t know of another talk like it. That day it hit me like never before. I know that some day ALL of us will be resurrected. It will happen because of Jesus Christ. Listening to Conference at home is great because you can clap, you can cheer, and you can jump up and down. That is how I felt, and that is what I did [understandably, we sort of frown on those behaviors at the Conference center – no one would be able to finish a talk otherwise]. I told Molly about it when I got home. I had no idea how much I would need it just a few weeks later. I don’t know how many times I have listened to that talk driving to and from work since then. We are blessed to have apostles, special witnesses, of Jesus Christ on the earth today. Read it. I promise it is worth your time.

This life is rough. You know it. We know it. The Lord’s promises are real and greater than we understand. We just have to hold on.

I had the privilege and honor of dedicating Lucy’s grave. One of the blessings I invoked in the dedicatory prayer was that on resurrection morning the grave would open for Lucy to jump out. I want to share one of my favorite videos of Lucy. My choice of words was appropriate don’t you think?

So I wait with faith & hope, sorrow & dismay, and love & peace, for a coming day when my Lucy will jump into my arms. Some days it is more of one than another. But I can wait.

"The fundamental principles of our religion are the testimony of the Apostles and Prophets, concerning Jesus Christ, that He died, was buried, and rose again the third day, and ascended into heaven; and all other things which pertain to our religion are only appendages to it" (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1938], 121).

  • Share:

You Might Also Like

17 Loving Lines

  1. I am so grateful for the power of the gospel, and all it's wonderful promise. I know it will be a joyous day indeed when you and your sweet wife are reunited with Lucy. I would love to be there to see her spring into your waiting arms.

  2. What a great talk. I love listening to Conference talks online. Man Lucy loved to jump didn't she! I cant wait to watch your reunion with her. I'm glad you were finally able to post on your thoughts. I love hearing them.

  3. this makes me relize that my feeling of the death of our justin, are real when something happened with one of his friends i would reach for my cell phone to call him, then stop and go that ache in my heart, and i remembered. thank you so much for sharing you story.

  4. I was looking at your older post, ones from last year and came across the picture of Lucy and Nai'a, I could help the tears, It still seems so unreal to me. there is no doubt that Nai'a and Lucy are special friends. I miss Lucy very much especially today. I know Nai'a misses her too. she speaks of her all the time. I can't wait to play with her and see them play together. We love you and appreciate your friendships so much. You too are also great outstanding examples in our lives and I can't thank you enough for sharing you live with us.

  5. Thank you for sharing that talk. You have such a beautiful testimony. You and Molly are just beautiful in every way. Your sweet family are always in my prayers.
    I love this video of Lucy, she is so loved and it shows.

  6. Thank you for your posts- believe it or not, they are so full of hope for me even through the heartache and my tears. I don't know you guys but after reading your blog, I love your family just the same. Lucy is a beautiful girl and being a mom of 2, my heart goes out to you all. I am also LDS and I am SO grateful for the knowledges we have that families are forever. My dad passed away not too long ago and I just can't imagine how empty my life would be if I didn't think I could ever see him again. I hope you don't mind if I keep your family in my prayers and visit your blog often.-- Shannon from GA

  7. That is such a wonderful and inspiring talk. Thank you for reminding me of it. You and Molly have beautiful testimonies. Thank you for sharing them with me. I love the video of Lucy. She is breathtaking. What a wonderful reunion you will have someday.

  8. You don't know me, but I linked to your blog through Stephanie Waite's.

    We are so privileged to have the knowledge we do concerning the hereafter! What a comfort. Your little Lucy is a doll:) She will surely JUMP FOR JOY into your arms at your sweet reunion! God bless you.

  9. Thanks Vic. I think you're such a good kid. (Well, you're not a kid, but you know what I mean.)

  10. Vic - constantly you amaze me. I just stand by and watch your quite strength. I don't know anyone who has such a divinely developed trait like yours. You had to have been endowed with it for just these times.

    I will read that talk. Thank you for sharing it with us. You guys are amazing! I am so happy you are going to have another baby. I know that was your plan and I am happy to see that Heavenly Father is directing you.

    WE NEED TO HANG OUT!!!!! love Mindy

  11. Thanks for the wonderful thought Vic! Thanks for letting us all learn with younof the beauty and impossible depth of the atonement. You are always in our hearts and prayers.

  12. I love that quote! Shara was just talking tonight about how amazing Lucy had ALL THAT HAIR! very unusual, really , at her age! How are you feeling Molly? Morning sickness just took on new meaning to me. I know that mourning will continue as well...but let it do its healing work too. you are alive in so many ways! love, Aunt Linda

  13. One of the amazing things about you, Vic, is that you would be listening to a conference talk in your spare time and that you would have the self-awareness and spiritual maturity to recognize the Holy Ghost testifying of a truth. I love you and admire you more than ever. That Lucy! Oh, how I miss her. Seeing her jump is just so joyful. You aren't waiting alone--we are all waiting with you to see her again.

  14. What a great post! You and Molly have been blessed with the gift of being able to write your thoughts and feelings so well! (even if it does make me cry every time) That video is priceless!!!

  15. Vic--We are still praying for you every day and are thrilled for your exciting news. You are such an inspiration to me and to all those that know you.

  16. I don't know you at all, but I just wanted to thank you for sharing your thoughts and reflections about your Lucy. I found your blog through another and have found myself reading & crying, reading & crying, and reading & crying...I have 3 children ages 11, 8 & 4. Last week I had a frustrating day and I said something about just being so over the kid phases...that I just wish they'd grow up already because I was tired of the complaining, arguing, needy-ness etc. That I just wanted some of my quiet life back...I was, ofcourse, saying this in a moment of ahhhh! (I love my kids dearly and we have many good times) but still...your writing about Lucy has given me a new perspective (yes, that quickly) on spending more quality time with my own children. Savoring the moments, being more patient, not sweating the small stuff...I don't think it was an accident that I found your blog - I needed a wake up call. (infact, I think I'm going to blog about these 'wake up' thoughts in the next day or two) Thank you so much for reminding me of these things that are the most important.


    Lynne Oliver
    Charleston, Illinois

  17. congratulations a few days of living life at its fullest once again...it feels good doesn't it?