Wednesday, May 28, 2008
(taken by Linda Kohler Barnes at Lucy's burial)
I don't mean to take away from honoring Lucy. But I think she would want to honor her dad today too. So please bear with me. If you weren't at the funeral or at her bedside in the hospital this week, you missed witnessing some of the world's sweetest miracles. Vic was one of those miracles to me.
Today is our 4th Anniversary. They have been wonderful years. Full of joy and full of trials, but no trial as great as what we are currently experiencing. I once said that I always thought I had married a great man when I chose Vic, then I saw him as a father and I realized I had married a wonderful, rare, and precious man. Well, this past week I have seen yet another man emerge. A man I can scarcely describe. A man so close to the Lord, so full of strength, a man with so much courage and love and faith, I only know few who exist. That man is Lucy's father. He always will be. He is my husband, my companion, my rock.
I wanted to surprise him for his 36th birthday last week, on May 20th, with comments from friends and family. Instead, we spent the evening in the hospital, surrounded by countless numbers of friends, family and angels. We celebrated Lucy's life and Lucy's dad.
So I now present my husband with his be-lated birthday wishes on our anniversary. Although we have received words of comfort and support from so many, I wanted Vic to know personally, from some of his favorite people, just how much he is loved.
I will post in the coming days more about the sweet experiences we are having. I can't even begin to thank you for your prayers. If you have EVER questioned whether your prayers are answered, rest assured that all of you praying to lighten our burden and share in our pain so that we don't have to do it alone...are having your prayers answered. You will never give anyone a greater gift.
Happy Birthday big Bro! Wish we could be there to celebrate this special day with you! Some of my favorite memories are when you came to live with us in Utah while you went to BYU. So many great brother-sister talks and I was so excited to share things with you. I still remember one of the last times we were together before I moved back to AZ. We were riding around in your car and decided to have a song that would always remind us of each other. "All that she wants is another baby" by Ace of Base. I still think of you each time I hear it. I'm so proud to have you as my big brother! You are a great friend and showing to be a great husband and father. Have a special day!
You married one of my favorite people in the world! That proves to me you are a great guy with great taste. As I have gotten to know you through the years of our friendship I have nothing but great things to say about you. I honestly think you are an incredible man. I feel this way due to the spirit that abides with you when you are around. I have so much respect for you, and can't wait till you come to Phoenix again!!!
Happy Birthday, old man!!
Happy Birthday Vic! In the four years I've known you I've never seen you happier than right now so the growing older thing must be good for you. Just think about how happy you'll be when you turn "40." You have an awesome family. The Flints are so lucky to be friends with the Jacksons. I'm going to love watching you grow older, actually I am going to love watching Lucy grow older - and given the circumstances that your her dad, watch you grow older. I am especially excited for Lucy to become a teenager and take total control of her parents.
John Flint (bishop and friend)
Victor-Schmictor-- You are a fantastic son-in-law...I am forever indebted to you for keeping me out of jail after I failed to yield in a traffic circle, for climbing ladders to wash my windows, for being a stable and loving husband to my daughter, and for giving me a princess for a granddaughter. I'm also very grateful for your commitment to the gospel. It's all enough to help me forgive you for being a Republican. Have a fabulous 36th! Best wishes from your mother-in-law.
Funny, cute, nice, happy-go-lucky yet serious, sweet with Lucy, and
perfect for Molly. Just a few words to describe my Vic. I love that we
know you. You are AWESOME DUDE (that's what Ben would say!)
Happy Birthday and many more!
(Brad and) Susan Hale
My favorite memory of Vic is the lunch we had with Stan Merril one day at El Chubasco. I really miss those lunches, full of deep discussion and not an insignificant amount of arguing. I enjoyed that time with Vic, his keen mind, sharp wit, wonderfully created arguments. If you're in the area, let us know, and we can do it again.
One of my favorite memories of Vic is from London. Since candy bars vary depending on the country you're in, anytime you travel you can find lots of different ones. London has TONS of varieties of candy bars. One of Vic's goals was to try every single one of them and assess their worthiness. I loved the fact that he had a very methodical technique. He didn't just go and binge on chocolate bars, every week or so he'd very deliberately try out a new candy bar. You could always ask Vic for advice on good chocolate in London. My favorite, however remains the Cadbury whole nut bar. :)
Happy birthday Vic! i wish i could send you a collection of chocolate bars from Taiwan, but let's face it, the chocolate here isn't worthy of someone with your skills!
What can I say about Vic? Wow, such a great guy. I suppose the best thing I can say about Vic is that he is most definitely an Honorary Card Carrying Mexican. He has a good heart and I think of him with great fondness.
9.Vic and I locked ourselves in the chapel and studied the bar for two straight months. It was pretty dry fare: contracts, torts, and the intricacies of property law. One day we met this cute girl named Molly who he invited, along with me, to go to the beach late at night. The idea was that we’d blow off some steam. size Needless to say, I declined to go. Somehow, I sensed he wanted Molly for himself. Not much later, I was in her apartment as she obsessed over what to get him for a gift. Then she was at our house trying to make a CD for him. Then, I was at the Lion House, giving a toast after their sealing. I guess he thought about marriage, and after contemplating the advantages, he decided to Wynn the game of life with Molly.
10.I met Vic in the LA 1st singles ward and we hit it off because we were both attending Pepperdine. We became good friends and hung out quite a bit. Some of my favorite memories were when we both rented rooms in this huge mansion in Malibu during the summer of '01. We were both very busy but I remember staying up late chatting about everything from marriage to law to cheesecake. Vic is a genuinely good person--one of the most Christlike people I know. To this day I still look up to him for that. He was then and is now a great example to me. I knew I could always depend on him. He's trustworthy and consistent. There's no doubt in my mind that these qualities make him an excellent father and husband.
Vic he is just the man who can empathise with anyone. He somehow knows how people feel because i think he has a bit or of all the emotions people feel in him and hence can sense that. A man without guile. Who tries and always succeed in making everyone happy.
Happy Bday dear friend
kevin (friend from London)
Vic reminds me of Diogenes, walking through Athens in the middle of the day with a lighted lantern, searching for an honest man. Only, Vic is looking for other things: knowledge, truth, even (like the rest of us) himself.
When I close my eyes and think of Vic, the image that comes to mind is of when Lucy was a baby and Vic pulled faces at her. Lucy laughed and giggled and shrieked with delight until she must have hurt with happiness. When Vic puts down his lantern for a moment and focuses his energy on making people happy, he is without peer.
Stan Merrill (fellow ward member and mentor)
P.S. He speaks beautiful Spanish, too.
First memory of Vic:
Christmas 1989, we were spending the holidays w/Jacksons in Arizona--Vic kept chasing me around asking me if I wanted a kiss! I was terrified!
Most dramatic memory:
Summer 1993 (94?) I spent several weeks w/the AZ Jacksons that summer: Vic had just come back from his mission, we were wrestling/dancing (?why not?) and I got flung across the floor. When I sat up I realized what the burning sensation was in my nose--it was bleeding! It was my first (and last, actually) 'bloody nose' experience.
Most happy memory with Vic: His wedding day! You two were the most beautiful and fun couple ever, and it was the first temple sealing I ever attended! It was such a beautiful day, thank you for inviting so many of us to be apart of it.
Sweetest memory with Vic:
Last year when we experienced an especially challenging trial, Vic sent the most sincere and thoughtful email to us. I will never forget the feelings of peace and comfort that I felt from his sweet words. Even though time & distance don't allow us to hang out much, I've always felt a special connection with cousin Vic!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIC--it's your day. I have so many other memories but these are some of the most colorful & bright ones in my mind. Thank you for being such a great example for all of us who admire & love you! Enjoy your day--you are "a favorite" for so many of us!
-Shara Jackson Harper (cousin)
Being the pseudo-mathematician that I am. Here is what I have to say about Vic turning 36. 36 is a very interesting number as not only is it a square (1x1,2x2,3x3,...,6x6,etc.), but is the the square of a perfect number, 6 (a perfect number is a number whose divisors add to itself, 1+2+3=6).
So since 6 is a perfect number and 36 is its square it is safe to say that Vic is perfectly square! :-P
David Chapman (friend from Southgate Ward)
Hey Vic -
Let's keep the violins out of Zeppelin and hope that New York and London aren't underwater next year due the rapid melting of the ice shelf caused by the global warming crisis.
Have a great birthday! We're sure glad you're up here!
Doug and Wendy Preston (friends from Park City)
OK - first impressions cannot be relied upon, and they certainly change. Sooooo - Victor Michael Jackson first entered my radar as I heard my daughter describe on the phone, Vic and their first, spontaneous, "water" date in Southern California. It is normal for potential son-in-laws to be highly scrutinized by potential father-in-laws, so I immediately began weighing the PROS and CONS. Phone impressions: PROS - law school, bishopric, Molly was infatuated, earnings potential. CONS - education loan, & questions on how he treated Molly. The day we finally met in person, the evaluations continued. Physical: seemed fit, huge eyes like a deer-in-the headlights, ready smile with lots of teeth, reminded me of some movie star I couldn't place. Humor: dry, lame, must be funny to some. Temperament: treated Moly like a queen, loves kids. Overall: 7.5 on a scale of ten - especially compared to previous Molly suitors. Now that Vic is the husband of my daughter and father of my grand-daughter, my current evaluation is a 9.5 - the most meaningful positives: Vic's Gospel comittment & willingness to serve, his efforts to maintain the romance in their marriage with clever events and Vic-inspired poetry, WHAT-A-DAD - it's obvious he worships Lucy Belle. Vic also pitches in to help out his aging in-laws with hard labor from window washing to attic work to lifting heavy items. His is indeed a GEM and the Bice clan is lucky to have him and his wonderful family, a part of ours.
Russell Bice (father-in-law)
Scott and I would love to add that among Vic’s many wonderful qualities is a deep and evident love for God’s righteousness, and a great dedication to family. We knew Vic in the years just before he met you, and even then he showed great concern for finding his perfect match and growing a family! We are overjoyed when we hear of your blessed family life! Happy celebrating!!!
Scott and Megan Fera (friends from Law School)
I remember when Vic was small, when asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, he would reply, "I want to be a Lan Banker."
When he was 8 or 9, when I came home from work, he and his siblings would stand on the front steps and one by one - run down the front side walk - jump into my arms - and I would swing them around a couple of times.
I remember the first scout summer camp we went on - Glacial Trails in the Serria Nevada Mountains above Sacramento CA - and his first repelling down the side of a mountain - swimming in the back county lake - cooking over back pack stoves - cliff jumping in the lake.
Which reminds me of the swimming and cliff jumping in Canyon Lake in Arizona and into the river at Standish & Hicky State park in Northern California.
I remember him all dress up: to pass the Sacrament as a new deacon - as a new missionary - as a return missionary - as a law graduate - being married to his love and sweetheart - being sworn in before the Bar in Utah - blessing his little Lucy.
I am proud of the man you have become. I love you Vic and the LORD loves you.
Dear Vic, Michael, Son, Friend, Babysitter, Surfer, Student, Big Brother, Father to my Granddaughter, Man in a Suit, and Son.
These are all the names and positions I have know you as. I love you very much. I
loved the decisions you have made in your life to make it what it is. You have had to be our "trial" or practice child. Sorry but you're still our "practice child" on adult themes. Since you are gown up and have a family of your own, our love for you also includes enjoying your efforts and your and Molly and Lucy's successes and sharing sorrows. We wouldn't have it another way.
Hope you enjoy the desk.
Love you much, Mom
Ok, I have been out of commission for over a week now (sick kids and sick me) but I wouldn't have responded much sooner anyway. I have brain storming about this and all of the memories and things I would want to share. I decided to maybe just make a list of a few highlights and memories that I have of him. There are so many that just... aahhh... make me smile.
-1st memory of liking my older brothers (Vic specifically) was making pyramids in the living room in Colusa (the cheerleader kind- not legos)
-Vic telling me I needed to get stitches or I could/would bleed to death when I fell in the bathtub and split my chin open (I was 5)
-Standing up for him while Clifford "the Big Red Dog" (boy with the red hair next door) made some rude remark about him
-always having a crush on his friends (minus Clifford)
-driving home from our family vacation early in our "new" Ford (Vic, Jenny and I), getting a flat tire and feeling guilty because I was sleeping in the shot gun seat even though I was supposed to be keeping Vic awake (like some how the flat tire was my fault since I dosed)
-writing to him EVERY SINGLE WEEK on his mission
-moving into our apartment
-the "get togethers" at our Dana Place
-pranks on the sister missionaries next door
-getting my mission call to a Spanish speaking country and especially to a bordering mission of his
-getting a letter from him EVERY SINGLE WEEK on my mission
-SEEING him at church one Sunday in Potosi, Bolivia while on my mission
-doing missionary work as a missionary with my companion and my brother
-going out to CA to visit Vic at Pepperdine with Candice
-hearing about Molly Bice and the excitement I felt about that
-hearing my brother read his poem to Molly on their wedding day
-watching my brother get married to his LOVE in the Salt Lake Temple
-watching his face and eyes shine with such love and pride as he held his newborn daughter
-many many prayers and fasts on behalf of my brother
This is such a brief list and as I read through it I realized it's a quick read and yet as I remember them (and others that I won't share publicly) wow- what a trip down memory lane. I feel so much love and so overwhelmingly blessed to have lived my life always having my older brother Vic there. What a difference my life would be without him and more importantly, what a different person I would be! Thank you Victor Michael Jackson for being born first into our family, for living the life you have lived, and for being the influence you have on me!
My favorite trait of Vic's is: Compassion and Funniest
My favorite saying is: Beep Beep All Aboard (with a hand gesture)
Please wish him the best birthday ever!!
Nicole (former co-worker)
Well, David sent an e-mail about having your perfect 36th birthday and what a perfect square that makes you. I don't know how perfect or how square you are after reading about all the farting on your blog. I'm not sure how we have missed this display of your "talent", but we were totally unaware of your gift!
However, you do have other gifts and qualities that make up for it. I think my favorite thing is to read what Molly writes about you on the blog. I have personally observed your absolute love and commitment to your wife and your desire to do anything to make her happy is amazing. Any guy who does that is as near perfect as they can get. I have also been grateful for your extremely kind hand of friendship and your ability to make anyone feel great when in your presence.
Happy Birthday Vic! You're an ALMOST perfect guy!
-Michelle Chapman (friend from Southgate Ward)
I was impressed that Vic took enough interested in me and my mission to learn portuguese. It is fun to speak to him in another language. I hope Vic has the best birthday - that his wishes come true to be with his family, healthy and well. He is a good example of optimism.
I love you Vic and hope this next year of life brings happier and easier times for you!
Vic is the model of a great husband and father. I have never met anyone who loves his girls as much as Vic. He is always talking about Lucy's new tricks or Molly's latest play. He dedicates himself 100% to making them happy. I am trying to be a good husband and father like you Vic. You are also the glue to our family. I feel you have always brought us all together and made us excited to be Jacksons!
Even if we weren't related I would want to hang out with you and be great friends, ... but being your little brother makes it even easier. Happy Birthday Victorino!
Happy Birthday Vic!!!
We love you and hope you have a great day!
Alfonso and Rochelle
I want Vic to know that he is such an example to me. He is such a hard worker and is really really smart. Intimidatingly smart. I know he is such a great dad and provider. I remember visiting him when he lived in San Diego, and it was so fun to be there with him. He is such a fun loving person, that you want to be around him a lot. He's always offering everything he has, and that doesn't go unnoticed. I love him so much, and am so grateful I have the chance to know him!. Love you Vic! Happy Birthday!
Peggy Jackson (sister)
Vic, ol' buddy ol' pa, Happy Birthday! It's been great including you
in our circle of friends since you came into Molly's life, and you
must really care about her to sit through a thousand old Showtime
stories every time we get together. It was great hosting you oh that
long time ago in D.C. because I feel like it allowed me to get to know
you without the crowd. I guess we haven't spent a lot of time
together, but you seem like a stellar guy and I hope your and Molly's
path will keep crossing mine. You two have an open invitation to
visit Jerusalem, so get over here! All my best in the upcoming year.
Vic is a great guy. I've known Vic for a long time, over 30 years. Growing up, Vic always had the coolest hair, a lopsided smile that the girls couldn't resist, the warmest personality, and a love of all things good and fun. He has a lot less hair but still retains the giving nature, fun-loving streak, and I'm sure Molly and Lucia love his smile.
I've always been impressed by his willingness to give of himself. I think he has been so effective as a school leader, missionary, older brother, student, husband, and cool cousin because he is genuinely interested in the challenges and successes of others. Of course I would never tell him anything like this to his face. :) To his face I would probably say, "you're such a hosehead" or "Vic, how in the world did you convince any girl to settle enough to marry you?"
I don't keep in touch with Vic as closely as I should but I envision us at a family reunion 40 years from now telling dumb jokes to each other (he has a lot of them), gumming our food, and stealing our grandkids noses. That's a good image and one that makes me grateful to be able to say Happy Birthday to a great friend. Happy Birthday Vic.
Karl Bean (cousin)
First off Happy Birthday!!!!!
Vic is the ultimate wing-man....he introduced me to the group of friends that my future wife was friends with. He helped and supported me as I tried to woo Patti. I will be forever in his debt!
He and I planned the greatest valentine's day ever. We went to the flower market and bought a ton of roses to impress our girlfriends (who we impressed so much that they later married us).
We both had a crappy previous roommate and when we became roommates we really enjoyed each other's company. We both have the same tastes and we enjoyed hours of talking about books (Tecumseh and Uther Pendragon) and movies. We both became engaged around the same time and it was great to go through that experience with someone that was going through the same type of excitement and fun.
Vic is truly one of my very best friends. I will always value his friendship! Happy birthday!!!
I've always struggled with the church. With the types of people in the church. I never felt like I fit in. There are only a few men I meet that I say, "I want to be like him." YOU, are the kind of man I want to be.
Taylor Bice (brother-in-law)
I love you, my Vicky Poo. We will never be the same after this experience. We will be more loving, more kind, more caring, and more united. What a special marriage. Happy Anniversary.
With all my liver and lungs,
Your eternal wife-Molly
at May 28, 2008
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