Blogger Blues

By Molly Bice-Jackson - 1:13 PM


I have a problem. I'm curious if anyone else has this problem. I look at other people's blogs and I get depressed. Not all the time, and not with all blogs. Do you ever find yourself looking at photos or reading entries and thinking, "They have such a perfect life. Look at how cute they are. Look how nice their house is! Wow..they went on such a cool vacation. Their clothes always look so perfect. " And then the depression kicks in. I get caught in this horrible web of comparison. I've noticed that it's usually with people that I don't know very well. A friend of a friend kind of thing. If I KNOW the person, I rejoice in cute photos, new homes, etc. If they are somewhat of a stranger (yes, this is a confession that I blog stalk a little), then I find that I fantasize about their life or assume certain things. And it's all about the image their blog is portraying. That's what it is...the image. Their stuff, their surroundings, their material things. These things don't really matter. How is their health? How is their marriage? Are they kind people? What are their trials? Does their husband treat them as well as mine treats me? But then I think.... material things make you feel a certain way. I love being surrounded by beauty and class and quality and cleanliness. These are images that speak to me. So maybe I should be jealous and depressed that I don't have more of that in my life. I don't know. Do you ever look at your stuff--your furniture, your clothes, even your food and think, "This isn't ME. This isn't how my soul would express itself in material form. I need more color. Tastier, healthier food." Or whatever.
But then it comes back to gratitude. How do I balance this need for the finer things in life with the reality that you can't always travel to exotic places and eat gourmet food and be draped in all things Pottery Barn? Lucy and Vic are more real to me than any of this stuff could ever be...
Blah, Blah, Blah.
Bueller?

And then I also remember that I'm beautiful and have no shame.

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  1. HA HA! Your picture totally made me laugh. I blog stalk too, in fact that is how I found you. I do comapre too, I just like to see what everyone elses life is like as well as mine. I think that you have an awesome family and a beautiful home, from what I could see. I am sure there are people envious of you.

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  2. Your photo at the bottom was such a PERFECT end to a great blog. I personally decided to stop blog stalking (that is also ONE reason we decided to go private) for the very reasons you talked about. Oprah did a show about this- about how celebrities lives look so great and perfect because they look so great and perfect on the red carpet all made up. When you look at just a snap shot and read just a few paragraphs of someones life, well that's their "red carpet" moments and yes, YOUR life looks like that to blog stalkers too!

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  3. And then I remember I am your sister-in-law and I think "Yes, her life is PERFECT now". he he he

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  4. Couple of comments. First off, one thing I've realized is that you only know what people allow you to know. Example: they may tell you about their great vacation, but not the credit card debt they gained from it, or how their brothers fought the entire time, etc. Which made me realize something, and that brings me to my second point.

    Reading others' perspectives on things has helped me see how others look at the positive on what could be a mediocre or awful experience. And that has helped motivate me to do the same.

    I used to feel that way (what you wrote) about some people, and it's not/was about people I didn't know! Now, however, I try to see their success and have that motivate me to do more with my own life. I'm not great at it and please don't ask me how my life has changed b/c of it. BUT, I think now, if they did it, then I can do that or something of the like. It's very self-empowering. I dare to argue that you have thought like that as well. I still remember you talking about one of your friends that became a real estate agent and who has accomplished so many other things (I think it was the lady who became your agent when the buyers didn't qualify). I remember you saying how you felt about that, etc. People like her I find so inspiring. Not depressing. I think you are a very impressive girl too, for taking part in a play, making money on your own part. That's awesome. It's made me think what I can do.

    There are like three or four blogs in PARTICULAR that I absolutely love reading. They inspire me to be a better mom, more positive, more ambitious with my daily schedule. When I read no one else's, I try to read theirs. I find that I need that. Otherwise it gets harder for me. And a quick and easy pick up that really helps.

    I think I would have quit blogging a long time ago, and still go on spurts where I do, just b/c it can be exhausting to read about other's accomplishments. However, when I realize this is such a small fraction of their life, and that I can take that positive small fraction and use it to my advantage to help me in my life, then it becomes so much easier.

    This is prob the longest comment I have ever written. Hope blogging doesn't get you too down. One last thing: there are one or two people's blogs that I have not visited in a long time. That's mostly due to the fact that I after I read them I think about it throughout the day and become OBSESSED! I would suggets a blogging break on all or a blogging fast on certain ones. That can really bring me back to earth when I do that.

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  5. miss m.
    i've found you on my blog again. oh, the joy. so, were you comparing your life without chocolates and chubb to mine full of treats and frumpy clothes?

    seriously, i do the same thing. my life is lacking right now in those extravagant and finer things in life. we just moved to another state, started our own business, are at a total lack of friends, and have no money. so feel free to compare yourself to me. you would be looking GOOD right now!

    really though, i loved the insight here. and you are one hot (shameless) mama in your last photo there. love it!

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  6. Molly,
    Sorry our blog makes you feel so jealous :-) No, really, yours makes me jealous sometimes, but I actually don't get caught up in comparing myself to anyone anymore (much). I do agree that the material things around me sometimes don't express what I would like them to, but I really have gotten over caring about it a whole lot. And, everyone here is right - a blog is only a snapshot of the day or week and doesn't always tell the whole story...although I'm grateful for the part of the story it tells so we can stay in touch. Thanks for all your blogs! I wish I had done the 30 days of thanks myself - that was a great read. Love ya!

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  7. First off, Yes - Lucy could be the cutest thing I have ever seen!! I just spent the last 45 minutes neglecting my children and devouring your blog. I love it! I am so glad you found mine. I am always asking people about you. So glad to see you are doing well.

    And don't worry - I think it is normal to want more when we only see the good. I guess that just means we need to paint a "real" picture of what our life is like and nobody will want it :).

    Love,
    Brit

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  8. How refreshing to read your post. I TOTALLY know what you mean and have felt the same way, especially when I first started my blog, but now I do much better. LOVE the picture of you at the end. I know that if we lived close we would be great friends!

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  9. ha! I am glad I found your blog. Thanks for your sweet comments. If I were a kid I wouldn't want anyone else but YOU to take me to Neverland. I wish I could see you in the show. I bet you are wonderful! Heck I want to be in the show with you. You and you family are very cute. Now, I'm jealous!

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  10. Molly, I totally hear you, but of course people are posting the good things. I was thinking about taking a picture of Addison's attempt at writing tonight and posting it. Here's what he wrote.
    "IEAMMADATMEMOM" (I am mad at my mom.) That's really good for him. I didn't know he could sound things out that well. I was strangely proud of him. But he was mad at me , whatchagonnado? Everybody has their balance of good with the bad. I wish I had opportunities to do plays like you. I would love to be Peter Pan, but I'm not. I live in Texas. But I have a million other blessings that I wouldn't trade. And who knows? Maybe someday I'll get my day on stage again! Love you.

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  11. Molly! How great to hear from you. Life has changed a bit since taking dance classes at the Edge! You are so cute! You look amazing. Tell your hubby hello. I love Lucy! What a great name. I am so impressed that you are performing. I am like you....I have to dabble in the arts....can't ever completely give it up. I am a better Mom because of it.
    I echo your feelings with the blog thing....One of my old clients once told me something I will never forget..."the happiest people I know are the ones I don't know well"
    When you look at a blog it is only the best stuff you are seeing...like looking at a magazine...come on you lived in LA...you know how fake all that stuff is...how false.
    Anywho, I am bookmarking your blog so I can stay updated. I love park city...how fun that LA comes to you every winter! One of these days I am coming out for Sundance. Merry Christmas!

    xoxo,
    Brooke

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