Sweet as Honey

Be still my  mother heart. This age...THIS AGE! He is magnificent. I never thought I'd live to see the day that we weren't in the war zone 24/7. Yet, here we are. And I am basking in his magnificence. Peter is not only super social, confident, coordinated, and excited about life, he is also so incredibly sweet. His prayers about send me over the edge. "Thank you that we are all better. Thank you that we don't get sick. Thank you that we can have a wonderful family. Please don't let Lucy die..."

I just want to squeeze his guts out. I've always been a very exuberant, enthusiastic person, so physical expression can be a bit over the top for me. I was nibbling on Peter's neck and ear and tickling his tummy the other day and he said, "Mom, that's not appropriate."

Oh, I love him so. Please don't turn on me when you are a teenager my little sweetie. You are my joy. And stop singing, "Don't go breaking my heart"...you are killing me!

How My Body Learned to Love Me

I had great response to my first article in the Deseret News last week. THANK YOU! I'm looking forward to the publication of my next one.

For documentation's sake, I'm sharing a bit of my article here with a link to the full version on Deseret News. I always appreciate your feedback.

*******************

My body used to hate me. I would starve it for days at a time, then fill it with junk only to expel the junk by shoving my fingers down its throat. I'd run it ragged and not refill it with the nutrients and calories it needed. I'd sleep deprive it, shame it, belittle it, abuse it, neglect it, then expect it to be the answer to my every problem. Because we all know that if your body LOOKS amazing, then of course you ARE amazing. All of your problems would go away. You didn't know that? That's what a trusted source called "the media" keeps telling me. Don't tell me you haven't heard:

For one thing, you'd have more money. And for sure you'd have more friends. Have you ever seen a beautiful woman--tall, thin (of course), perfectly white teeth and shiny hair, dressed to the nines, sitting alone and depressed with no money? Didn't think so. 

Let's see, you'd definitely be smarter.  Men would flock to you and treat you like royalty. Your children would be beautiful and perfectly behaved. Your breath would smell great. YOU would smell great. You would drive a gorgeous car that is always clean and never has any problems. You'd cook fancy meals served on trendy dishes, presented to your chipper family who are all waiting patiently at the dinner table to partake of your offerings. And by dinner table, of course I am talking about Ethan Allen furniture at the very least.   

But the greatest thing would be that if only you were more beautiful and thin, your house would always be clean! You'd have a white kitchen with sunlight gently cascading through the windows and plenty of bleach and paper towels readily available to clean up the slow motion spaghetti and grape juice spills headed for your solid wood, polished floors and new Stainmaster top- of -the -line carpet. 

Oh, body! Why do you continue to let me down and deprive me of these things? They are mine for the taking if only you'd stop craving cookies and being so short and so...you.

TO READ THE REST OF THE ARTICLE, CLICK HERE. 

Any requests on what my next article should be about?

Also, don't forget to enter the 2 great giveaways I have going right now! See posts below for a chance to win a Day out With Thomas the Train or a free cruise for a family of 4! WHAT?

A Day Out With Thomas--A Giveaway!

Thomas the Tank Engine rolling along....

They're 2, they're 4, they're 6, they're 8.
Shunting trucks and hauling freight. 
Red and green and brown and blue, they're a really useful crew. 
All with different roles to play, round Tidmouth sheds or far away. 
Down the Hills and round the bends...Thomas and his friends. 

I really want to sing that song as my audition song for a show someday. If you are singing along with me in your head, then that means you have a Thomas fan living in your house. And that means you need to win 4 tickets to A Day Out With Thomas! For real.

Heber Valley Railroad is anxious to give a set of 4 tickets to one of my readers. All you need to do is leave a comment telling me a bit about your Thomas fan. Also, share the link to my blog (doesn't need to be this specific post) on your Facebook page with a little ditty about how you enjoy reading my blog. (Yes, this is so I can get more readers so I will have a larger audience for when my book comes out!)

Let us review:

-A Day out With Thomas hosted by the Heber Valley Historic Railroad (starting in Heber City, UT)
-It is approximately a 25 minute train ride with a chance to meet Sir Topham Hat and get your photo with Thomas
-Activities and booths with prizes and free games
-Thomas memorabilia
-Smiles and memories galore!

-Leave a comment about your Thomas lover
-Link to my blog on your Facebook page (maybe link to one of your favorite posts I've written, or my Deseret News article...whatever.)

Winner will be chosen THIS FRIDAY and tickets will be redeemed for use on Memorial Day weekend. 

Bust my buffers! I hope you win.

Lunchpails and Lipstick

I'm featured over on Lunchpails and Lipstick today! If you haven't heard of this blog I'm excited to be the one to introduce you to it. But I give you fair warning: Don't compare yourself to the 3 women behind this blog--they are abnormally beautiful and tiny!

Lunchpails and Lipstick is a fun place to go to learn about fashion and design and meet other inspiring women and mothers. I am a friend/acquaintance of Summer Thacker and was thrilled when she asked  me to contribute to their blog today.

So head on over and read my article. Maybe stay a while and browse around their lovely sight. Have a wonderful week my friends.

Dear God

Dear God,

The recent events with the 3 women in Ohio have left me shaken to my core. My all-consuming thoughts have effected my ability to function and be fully present for my family. Not in a dramatic and obvious way, but in ways that I feel deep in my bones. The world isn't right. This isn't right. How? Why? How do I raise my children in this place?

But you know all that.

The reason I'm writing is to thank you. (Or should it be You?) I posted my anxious thoughts and concerns on Facebook yesterday. It was a plea for guidance. How can I help these women? What positive mental narrative do I tell myself to help me cope with this? (Help ME cope? What about THEM?) Agreeably selfish, I know.

You saw how my wise friends suggested turning off the news, focusing on the positive, and taking action by volunteering with a women's shelter. You know I'm busy, God. I'm raising these 2 incredible children you sent me. I want to do more, but I'm just not always able.

But you worked your wonders last night. You restored my faith in the smallest of things. A timely text message. A husband able to leave work on time. Being in the right place to see a need. You are sly. You are tricky. And you are wonderful. Should we tell everyone what you did? If you are too modest, shy, and humble to take all the credit, I will accept it on your behalf. As long as you forgive me later.

Here's what happened:

There was a Stake Relief Society activity last night--Dinner, a clothing exchange (!!) and some excellent speakers. About an hour before leaving for the activity, I sent a text to my neighbor to see if she might be interested in attending with me. I've mentioned her before...she is a single mother who recently left the local Women's Shelter in Park City called the Peace House. Her son does not live with her (long story) and it kills her. She's trying to find more work and get some solid footing. She responded with a resounding, "Yes!" to my invitation.

But there was a lot going on. Vic was trying to get out of the office to make it home on time so that I could leave and he could make it to swimming lessons with Peter. For a while there it looked like it wasn't going to happen. Things fell into place at the last minute and off my neighbor and I rushed to the activity. Thanks for that, HF. I really owe you.

The food was delish. And may I say that I got some killer pieces from the clothing exchange! My friend cried during the talks, and we had an all-around uplifting time. As things were coming to a close I saw a women lugging several garbage bags full of clothing outside. I asked her if she needed any help and she said she was running to catch the bus since she didn't have a car. She seemed...a bit frazzled. I could tell she felt a bit out of place. No makeup on, no bra, shorts and flip-flops (which is great until you take into account its Spring in Park City. A.k.a, worse than any California winter.) Long story short, she was headed in the direction I live so I offered to give her a ride.

My neighbor and this woman (I'll call them Alice and Andrea), started chatting while I slipped into the kitchen to prepare bags of leftover food for them to take home. We loaded our treasures in the car and had such a pleasant conversation getting to know Andrea better. She and Alice had so much in common (Addicts in recovery, abusive relationships, no car, looking for work, both studying to become Shamans) and by the time we dropped Andrea off a bond was born. We spoke about everything from finding the strength to do hard things to the full moon portal (the rebirth last night of 2013--according to what they are learning in their Shaman classes), to finding a good place to rent and calling me if they ever need a ride.

When I dropped Alice off at home she spoke of her son and cried again. She asked if she could come to church with me for Mother's Day. And I walked into my safe home, my children tucked in bed, and I cried.

That's what happened, isn't it, God? You put me in the path of those women who have experienced similar things to the victims in Ohio. (Much smaller scale, yes. But same vein.) And you showed me that each of us matters. That each of us can make a difference. You reminded me to be grateful. Those wonderful and unique women taught me. You taught all of us. You brought peace to my heart and confirmed my belief that kindness matters. It might matter the very most.

Please accept this thank you letter and please send more opportunities my way to strengthen those in need. And that includes me. You really are a sly devil, the way you orchestrated that. (No pun intended.)

Always,

Molly

There's a Pixie in the House

I know this is old news to most of you (who follow me on Instagram or Facebook), but I still wanted to give a shout out to my pixie haircut. I love it. I love that I feel more like myself. Like having on just the right outfit.

I'm thinking of going shorter all around, rather than keeping the one side longer, but we shall see. Maybe I'll just give it a buzz. If you've ever wanted a pixie cut I say GO FOR IT. Its just hair. It will grow back. Its one of the easiest dreams in life to fulfill. It doesn't take much effort, luck, skill, or money. Just chop it! It will grow. (Kristyn Jackson, you've probably never wanted super short hair, but I've always thought you would look so cute with a pixie.)

Styling it has gone pretty well so far. Just mess it up a bit and run pomade through it. Difficult to look bad. I also love that Vic is so supportive of it and thinks it looks great on me. That's always a plus.

I know there is someone out there reading this who has always wanted to do this but never had the guts. Do it. And let me know about it.

The End.

P.S. This is such a stupid post. Its about a haircut. I'm obsessing over the 3 women in Ohio. I'm crying because I just watched a little movie ditty about Mother's Day and thinking of how much I love my Peter. My Zoë. My Lucy. I'm probably crying because I'm tired too.

What I Want in A Family Vacation--And a chance to win a FREE CRUISE!!! I'm serious.

Note: This post was written just before our recent trip to Vegas.


We're heading out on a little family vacation soon. I'm excited. Very excited. We're driving to our destination and I cannot wait to get in the car and cruise! April has been less than stellar in Park City this year and I am not just craving a little fun in the sun, I NEED IT.

But that's the thing--family vacations. Are they really fun? Do you really get in the car, or the airplane, or to the resort or theme park and actually CRUISE? Or is it more of a lurching, fighting, exhausting, bickering, wallet-draining experience? I would love to set my family vacation at a comfortable, relaxed speed and sit back while it cruises along like a finely oiled machine. I could enjoy my kids, enjoy the scenery, and not stress about planning and budgeting and the million other things that go along with kids and traveling. So we'll see how our upcoming trip turns out. I'll let you know how much of it felt like cruising and how much of it felt like pulling a handcart full of poopy, whining children.

I have a feeling it is actually going to be great. We're meeting up with all of my siblings in a warm place with a pool and hot tub and plenty of activities. And my brother from Boston, who is a gourmet chef, will be cooking plenty of insanely great food so that usually tips the scales to the side of AWESOME. (And yes, he was just in the MIDDLE of everything going on with the marathon bombings. Crazy stories for another day.)

(if my brother cooks anything like he plays the drums/sings...you can guess how DELISH)

When planning this trip, there were several factors that went into it. We wanted to go someplace warm. That was #1. We wanted to be OUTSIDE with the kids. No more meeting up in Utah for Christmas in the dead of winter. It needed to be in a destination that was affordable for everyone to fly into. But more importantly than that, we needed a really great place to stay that would accommodate everyone. (4 kids in my family and we each have a spouse. That's 8 adults. And between the 4 couples we have 8 kids.) We found a really great house to rent with a pool and hot tub, badminton court, and BBQ grill. Let the good times roll! Food is a big factor in the Bice family.

But here's a thought: what if you could truly, entirely, and literally cruise with your family? I'm talking the open seas. Have you ever gone on a cruise? I haven't! I've always wanted to. (I've always wanted to be a performer on a cruise ship and have had SEVERAL friends do just that. Have I missed the boat? Am I too old now?) But I digress. I'm here to tell you that Norwegian Cruise Line has a youth program for kids and I'm kind of dying to let Peter experience it. A mother can dream, right? They have teamed with Nickelodeon and created some really cool stuff for kids and teens on the ship!

It really would be nice to take time away from the stress of everyday life, get on a beautiful cruise ship, not worry about meals or cooking, AND to have built-in, hands-on, creative, engaging activities for my kids. I mean...they have circus school! How cool is that? (Back to that dreaming thing...every mother has dreamed of their son being a clown...amiright?) Along with circus school, they have all sorts of sporting activities and events, pools, slides, Nickelodeon events, and even great counselors for the kids. I think when it is our turn to plan the Jackson Family reunion with Vic's siblings, we'll hit up Norwegian Cruise Line for their youth program alone. (We have like 12 more years until it is our turn since we do it every other year and it started with the youngest child of 7. Vic is the oldest, so....start saving up!)

For more information about Norwegian's family vacation experience, click here.

What is your dream vacation for your family?  Answer in the comments below for a chance to win a cruise voucher for a family of four!

Sweepstakes Rules: No duplicate comments. You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:

1. Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post
2. Tweet (public message) about this promotion; including exactly the following unique term in your tweet message: "#SweepstakesEntry"; and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post
3. Blog about this promotion, including a disclosure that you are receiving a sweepstakes entry in exchange for writing the blog post, and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post
4. For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.

Entries from all participating blogs will be pooled for winner selection; only two entries per household. This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected. The Official Rules are available here. This sweepstakes runs from 5/7/2013-6/2/2013. Be sure to visit Norwegian Cruise Line's brand page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ posts!

Unfettered & Unbound

To quote my nephew Jack, "If I've said it once, I've said it on Thursday!"..."Come to this concert!" (I was quoting myself in the last part. Snicker.)

Get a babysitter. Sit down in a gorgeous theatre with your lover or a friend. Listen to some gorgeous, jaw-dropping voices and leave totally inspired.

This is the thing--this Angela Jeffries. Maybe you've never heard of her. If you've been to any shows at the Hale Center Theatre over the past few years  you've probably seen her in a lead role. But what I want to tell you is that she is a part of our story. She played Mrs. Darling in Peter Pan when I was Peter. When Lucy would attend the show dressed in her Tinkerbell costume. When our family was whole and young and hopeful. She was the Mrs. Darling who sang "Tender Shepherd" to her children and told them that the night lights were the eyes a mother leaves behind to watch over her sleeping children.

Her voice is transporting. It takes you to places inside yourself you have never visited. And they are wonderful, beautiful places. Vic was absolutely smitten with her voice and performance in Peter Pan. (And he may have told me a time or two that if I ever die, she is first on the list for wife #2...just sayin.)

Angela attended Lucy's funeral. She wrote Lucy a profound letter that I keep with me next to my bed. She changed her life for Lucy. She has given us gorgeous Disney (Peter Pan) figurines year after year in honor of Lucy that are now family treasures.

So why is she doing this concert? She is moving to New York City to pursue her dream of being on Broadway...and she needs your support! She's phenomenal. She really, really is. And anyone who loves me enough to support me through the dark abyss of losing a child, deserves all of my support and more.

Please come. I'd love to meet you.

Feeling Down....really

Those post vacation blues are a real killer. It seems to be worse than usual this time around. It snowed today. IT SNOWED TODAY. Happy May. So, that's rill fun.

And...I auditioned for a show. I had a pretty killer audition. I rocked the dancing. Had a bit of a cold so my singing wasn't my best. But I did well. Really well.  And I didn't make it. So that's a bummer.


Zoë has a cold and is a fussy little thing. My house is a mess.

I just don't feel like I have a grip on things right now. My house, my kids, my marriage--and there is that nagging feeling again like I should be doing "more". Must get off Instagram and Facebook every second and live my own life. Must.

When late afternoon hit today I started having a mini anxiety attack. I just started feeling so overwhelmed by everyday life. Work out. Clean the house. Shower. Get dressed. Feed kids. Clean up. Clean some more. Get out of the house or go crazy. Make lunch. Clean. Make dinner. Do laundry. Mental breakdown!

I called my friend Stacey to see if she could take the kids for a few hours so I could unpack bags and take a breath or two. THANK GOODNESS FOR FRIENDS LIKE HER. So here I am...sorting through my thoughts and feelings. Crying off and on. Realizing it is May. Five years without her. May.

I guess I don't know what else to say. Time to go unpack.

“Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic."-Frank Herbert

Why I Didn't Blog Last Week

So much stinkin fun!!! Literally and figuratively. (A few of us got a major case of the runs.. which is to be expected since diarrhea is hereditary. Ya. It runs in your genes.)

The goal: get all the siblings together somewhere WARM and somewhere relatively "cheap" to fly into. Somewhere we could find a large rental house with a pool with plenty of room and beds for everyone.

The place: Vegas.

I love my siblings. I have wanted to do a post on each of them and I think after this trip I'm ready to dive in--if they'll let me.

We ate, we hiked in Red Rock Canyon (gorgeous!), went to the strip several times, swam in the pool every second of the day, played on the bad mitten court, hot tub, cooking, family talent show, I went on several runs, minute to win it games...and the cousins. Don't get me started. They were in heaven. I'm so thankful they had this time to bond. Oh, and we can't forget attending church at the Spiritual Enlightenment Center to see my sister's friend, "Lady J" perform. I really loved the service. And Joyce was truly amazing. We had a great time hanging out with her back at the rental house after church. So much personality. LOVE IT.

I may or may not go into more detail on the trip later, but I wanted to get these great photos of great times and memories up ASAP. I know my parents in Russia will eat them up.

So let me just say this: I have amazing siblings. They are so funny!!! And talented and smart and open-minded and just fantastic. And their spouses are just as wonderful. I am very, very thankful to have them in my life. You did a great job, Mom and Dad. You really did.

And now I'm trying desperately to get back into the routine of things. It is not easy! But the good news is I have exciting things to look forward to like the concert I'm singing in this Saturday (YOU MUST MUST COME) and the articles I've been asked to write for Deseret News!!!